You know, this morning when I read a troll’s declaration that my kid might be the Ugliest Kid, I was pretty stunned. A little hurt. A lot pissed. (And totally disbelieving,because if my kid was ugly Andy would have already said so. Seriously.) And then Jeanne called, and I was all "oh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" and wondering why the hell she was calling ME on HER birthday, but whatev, and she told her dad had had a heart attack, and could I please update her blog, here’s the password. Oh, wow.
ANd then maybe an hour later, or less, she called again to say he’d died, and I burst into tears. Just sobbed for her.
Because, see, 2 months ago? I’d have been sad, for sure. I may have welled up, because I was pregnant. But now? SOBS. My heartlessness of the last 31 years has been compromised, because now that I am a mom, I feel a mom-ness to the world. What ran through my head when trying to comprehend the suddenness of Jeanne’s dad’s passing was "I can’t imagine losing MY dad. I can’t imagine losing Dave. I can’t imagine Ingrid losing HER dad. I can’t imagine never getting to see my dad as a grandfather." All of that. And since Jeanne and I have been discussing pros and cons of having kids, timing of having kids, etc, pretty heavily over the last few weeks, I know that she had to have thought of it too, and my heart just broke for her.
It’s cyclical, everything — Jeanne was the one who kept the internet apprised of Ingrid’s impending arrival, and I’m the one that kept the internet apprised of her father’s departure. Here we are, two people who’ve never met in the traditional sense, but still part of that circle that you reach out to in times of life’s biggest events.
How quickly everything can change for a person. So someone out there wants to pick on 2 month old babies and their mamas, so what…. I am so lucky to have this baby, this husband, this set of parents and friends and family all still here, today. That puts everything into perspective. Tell your family you love them, right now, because you just really never know.
Your daughter is precious and perfect, and it seems to me like you have a tender, wide open heart.
I’m so sorry for your friend. The least we can all do is remind our loved ones how much they mean to us.
Ingrid is adorable. Screw the stupid troll.
I have given much thought to the loss of parents/family members since I found out I was pregnant with Cat. It truly wasn’t something I’d given a lot of thought to before, but I suddenly couldn’t imagine Cat going through life without a grandfather, like I did, or losing her parents suddenly, as my husband did.
Thinking warm thoughts for jeanne and you, and pretty baby thoughts for Ingrid. 🙂
Ingrid is adorable. Trolls suck.
Fuck trolls Ingrid is dreamy. I dont know how you can resist chewing on those cute toes!
Ingrid is just perfect! Cutest Baby, perhaps (with some competition from the rest of our babes).
My dad died 8 years (almost to the day) before my daughter was born, and I think a lot these days about how much I wish he could have met his granddaughter, and how much she would love him. It’s a hard thing, and makes me appreciate my mom, her wife, and the rest of my family and friends even more. So true that mamahood puts things into perspective.
Ingrid is BEAUTIFUL. The other babies singled out are also beautiful. Stupid troll.
I’m really sorry about your friend’s dad.
I bet it was from a REAL troll. Trolls only think babies who are green, warty and snaggle-toothed are beautiful. Ingrid’s human cuteness will, alas, forever bar her from a glamourous life underneath a bridge giving goats a hard time. But I’m sure she’ll find something else to do. Perhaps rescuing virgin princes from dragons.