1. My recovery is going really well. The region isn’t too sore, the only really painful thing is my sciatic nerve in my right leg. it bothered me throughout pregnancy, and i thought it would get BETTER with delivery, but it’s gotten worse. Dave is in charge of taking Ingrid up and down the stairs, because it can be that painful.
2. Ingrid went to the pediatrician today for a weight check, where she and my tits proved victorious when the scale showed she’s gained back most of her birthweight.
3. Ingrid does not like being flat on her back. At all. Diaper changes are scream fests, and yeah, you can forget about her sleeping in a bassinet. For now, she sleeps on our chests. I can doze off in that position, but Dave can’t for fear of dropping her. He’s still not comfortable with the idea of putting her between us, but even when it’s just me, she doesn’t like to be on her back. Her favorite place is in-arms, or frogged up on a chest somewhere (where she is when I’m using the internet, like now.)
4. My/our anxiety about the last name issue has proved basically unfounded. When Dave’s family came to the hospital, they asked what her name was (apparently, he had only said "Ingrid" on the phone), and I piped up "Ingrid Natalia Mylast," and no one said a word. I explained the phoneme thing, and threw them a bone by saying the "IN" sound was for the end of my first name and the end of Dave’s last name. Dave had to explain it at work, which he always finds . . not uncomfortable, but just annoying or whatever. Plus, Ingrid Dave’sLast sounds really tongue-twistery, and makes the name just — weird. Ingrid Mylast has gotten a wonderful response; one of my parents friends said " That sounds
like a really good ski racer name. Ingrid is beautiful, feminine, tough,
kind and fast. She will probably be a great fly fisherwoman."
5. FatKitty has responded really well to Ingrid. She hasn’t been aggressive at all, almost more protective than anything, and very curious. When Ingrid cries, FK is RIGHT THERE, looking at us like "HELLO, our BABY is CRYING!" as if we couldn’t tell. At this point, we’re feeling that the cat-baby dangers are going to be accidental, if they happen at all, which is great, since I know pets can have crazy responses to new babies.
6. We might go for a walk today, using the stroller, on account of my leg’s propensity to just stop working. I’ve been trying to figure out the KKAFP, but I don’t know if it’s because my already huge breasts are engorged, or what, but it seems really awkward, but I only tried the cradle hold, and I will be trying the tummy to tummy later on.
7. I find myself really mourning the end of pregnancy. I really liked it, even at the end, having this big round hard belly full o’ baby that kicked around inside me. I love that Ingrid is here, but I miss the singular experience of carrying her. Now, my belly is this floppy, gelatinous, hollow, wrinkled thing, and it feels weird to the touch. Even writing about it makes me tear up.
So, any tips on dealing with a wonky right leg, getting a baby to not scream bloody murder when placed horizontal, or a way to even make Dave more comfortable with the idea of cosleeping, which seems like the best option at this point?
I have sciatic nerve problems (sitting in a low chair REALLY gets me because my knees are above my hips and all hell breaks loose). I find that walking really is the best way to help it. Stretching really helps do. Do some of your old yoga poses.
As for the rest…well, um? I guess with the laying on the back thing: perhaps lay her on her back in your knees a little propped up (like start with you toes on point and then slowly lower her and get her used to that feeling)? or maybe hold something in your mouth (like keys or something jangly) to distract her.
You could also try putting a rolled up blanket under the head end of the changing table so that she is not completely flat. V screamed until we set up a mirror and little book thingy for her to look at while she was lying down. I would often getting V back to sleep by leaning her against meso she was almost sitting up. She would fall asleep like that and then usually stay asleep once I laid her back down flat.
Has Dave ever rolled over on the cat? I am pretty sure that he has much more awareness than he thinks he does while he is sleeping.
Oh, and the deflated tummy will go away remarkably fast. I can actually see it shrinking in pictures from V’s first week of life, but ick, I tried to resist the temptation to look at myself in the mirror. Andy found the ‘bowl of jelly’ belly to be incredibly amusing. I found myself still laying my hand lovingly on my tummy as if I was still rubbing the baby that was no longer there. I felt REALLY empty and also mourned the separation between the baby and I. And the crazy hormone fluctuations don’t help much either.
A quick Google, which i’m sure you’ve already done, gives Ingrid YourLast as among other things:
A German geneticist
An American Scientologist (ugh)
A German/American Freelance Writer
A whole lot of other German women whose accomplishments are no doubt astonishing but are, alas, written in German.
I have no advice on the things you actually asked about but…I found the tummy to tummy in the KKAFP to be the easiest, happiest way for Cat and I to travel when she was tiny. She liked to lay like a frog on our chests too and I just popped her in the KKAFP like that. Happy baby, happy mama.
When Magdalena was itty bitty brand spanking new, she would sleep in the tummy to tummy position, only laying down on our sides. I would cradle her head in the crook of my arm, and we would sleep peacefully. In fact, 2 years later that is still one of her favorite positions to sleep in, except her pesky little sister is in the way inside my big ol belly. heh.
This may not help for diaper changes, but how does she react when swaddled? A tight swaddle might help her feel more secure when laying flat. Actually, there’s one swaddling blanket that you can unwrap from the waist down only for changes, if you want to change a blissfully sleeping swaddled babe.
Also, lack of sleep usually tends to be a really good motivator to cosleep, ime. 😉
No real useful advice from me. But I wanted to tell you THANK YOU for being so positive in regards to your daughter. I’ve been reading your blog since before you got pregnant (never commented) so I know the struggle you’ve had to get here. And as someone who struggled myself to get pregnant (IVF, m/c, the whole works) I know the emotional roller coaster it can be.
It may seem like a weird thing to say but I read many blogs (mostly IF blogs) and you are just so happy that it’s awesome to read. I loved being pregnant and adored the time with my newborn son too. So thank you!
As far as getting her to lay on her back. I think you got some good suggestions. My son hated sleeping on his back and would sleep for hours on his belly. He was and still is a tummy sleeper at 15 months.
And for the first couple of weeks he slept on my chest too :-). After that we found a little soft mattress thing that fit between our pillows and he slept between us. But since he was on this little “mattress” his body was level with our heads so we felt safe that we wouldn’t roll over on him.
Good luck! And congratulations..Ingrid is beautiful!
Oh yeah…so happy for you about the bfing too!
Andrea
please remember this suggestion is coming from someone who has no kids! i gave my friend this from her registry, maybe this would help relieve dave’s worries about rolling over on ingrid?
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-1/qid=1148424260/ref=sr_1_1/601-9392684-6586569?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=B00012CHFI
A. Ingrid on her back: Do you have a bouncy seat? Or even a bucket style carseat? Those are great sleeping places for a baby who likes to be “not flat”. You could even put the bouncy seat/car seat in the bassinet…we would put the bouncy seat right into the co-sleeper.
B. Your belly will change amazingly quickly. I also really missed the baby inside, but soon your belly will feel less like empty space and more like your old body.
First, congratulations and welcome to the world, Ingrid! I hope you have an awesome summer of bonding!
The how-to-co-sleep-safely books and websites say that baby should never be between the mom and dad, because dad isn’t as attuned to baby as mom and might roll onto him/her. And since he’s nervous anyway, are you willing to try sleeping in the middle yourself? You can get a side rail for your bed (like you’d get for a toddler) at Target for less than $30 and put Ingrid between you and the rail. (We call it “the fence” at our house and it worked great for us.)
Ditto what Dawn said about swaddling…some babies love it.