Well, damn. No change from last Friday, so I have my induction papers in hand. the NST was great, baby is good and healthy, but mama’s cervix isn’t thinning or dilating, so that blows.

The plan is to go in on Wednesday evening for Cervidil, which is like a gel tampon of stuff that ripens the cervix.  That gets put in, we chill for the evening, and at 6 am, my OB comes in to get the show on the road. Hopefully, my cervix will respond well to the cervidil.  Pitocin will be the next step, Thursday morning. I’m okay with this decision, which is MY decision, at my OB’s suggestion.

For one, I love my OB. She really LISTENS to me, and is low intervention.  I will be induced at 41w, with GD, and a family history of large babies, and I know that other OBs in town would’ve had me schedule a C-section 3 weeks ago, for real.  I also have kind of figured this was coming, since in addition to having big babies, my family holds their babies in tight. My mom was induced twice with each of us, but still had natural deliveries. My crazy cousin Liz, who thinks water is poison and had all her fillings removed in Mexico even told me that her homebirth turned into a transfer because she was just NOT dilating, and had to be augmented with Pitocin. The chick thinks water is poison, and even SHE warned me that we hang on tight in this family, and that pit and an epi are what allowed her to avoid a c-section. 

Anyway, while I know the OB pretty much just does the catching, she’s the one who will be getting the information from the nurses and such, and she’s been really good about everything thus far. She’s not freaked out by the size of the baby, because she knows my history, whereas another OB might look at my chart and be all "Get the scalpel! This thing is HUUUGGGEE!"  I trust my doctor, which is important, that you trust your provider, whether it’s an OB or a CNM or a lay midwife, you know? So, I’m glad my OB will be the one hearing my case.

It also means that Amy will be able to be here without a panicked 120 mile drive ahead of her, which makes me feel better about that situation, and since Dave is taking his 10 days of vacation for this, it’s nice to know that it’s happening later in the week, so that he won’t have to go back til June 1, which means my first solo stretch will be just 2 days, instead of a whole week. My family won’t be in the middle of a graduation, but they will be on their way to one, so even more convenient for them to meet the widget. I’ve heard good things about the Thursday day shift in L&D, too, so that gives me some confidence as well.

I also won’t miss the Grey’s Anatomy finale tonight (YAY!) and I’m hoping we’re settled in and Cervidil’ed up in time to see the finale of The Amazing Race. Whee!

I mean, I’m so proud of my body for bringing us this far, you know? It’s really amazed me more than disappointed me, the way I’ve gained weight (or not gained, really, the way I thought), the way I’ve really felt pretty mobile and unhindered, the way it’s set up the placenta (not anterior, so we are always reassured by movement, or previa) and the baby’s head has found it’s way down. It’s done a far better job than I expected it to, really, and if this is where I get disappointed, I’m so, so lucky. The end result is that we come home with a healthy baby. I’m already letting go of my previous birth expectations, of staying at home as long as possible and all of that, and reminding myself that the goal is to become a mom, not to have the storybook version birth experience. That would be GREAT, for sure, but I didn’t get pregnant to give birth, I got pregnant to have a baby, to make a family, to give Dave a relative that looks like him, to carry on my family’s name. That’s what I’m looking forward to — facing parenthood with Dave, who is my best friend and partner and the only person I can imagine doing this with. I can’t wait to see him hold his baby for the first time, to finally see the creature that he’s been pressing his ear to for the last 9 months. That’s what I want.

So, by Friday, I’ll be a mom. I mean, I could go into labor RIGHT NOW, and that would be great, but the induction decision is okay, too. Because by this weekend? CINNABON IN A CAN, mofos, CINNABON IN A CAN. (And you know, BABY, which is even sweeter.)