I have a bunch of things to do in the next 48 hours, whichwould make for exceptionally BORING entries, so i thought I’d pose a few questions, and offer myself up for answers.
Q for the Mamas reading along:
What was the most surprising thing about the whole pregnancy/motherhood trip that you weren’t expecting? I mean, I expect to be sleep-deprived, and I expect to have sore nipples and raw girlyparts and be a little emotional, but what snuck up on you? (I mean, I can expect all that, but I know I won’t understand it until it happens….)
On that same line, what was the most exciting/happy/positive thing, and what was the most challenging thing?
And for answers:
Are there any questions you’ve wanted to ask? Ask them! Big or little, I’ll do my best to answer them.
I was not expecting V to be one week early. I was so annoyed to be in labor with nothing ready. To be honest, I can’t understand how I could have not prepared myself for that possibility. I guess I just didn’t want to be sitting there two weeks over-cooked looking at my bags all prepared.
I expected breastfeeding to be WAY harder. Sure it took her two days to latch on, but after that there were hardly any problems (just mastitis, but that was just a matter of hours, it cleared right up after taking anti-biotics).
I didn’t expect their to be so much friction with the MIL. I think we were both very hormonal at the time, but there are still issues 1.5 yrs later.
I realize now that I didn’t know what to expect from A. He came through great, though. I did not change one diaper the first week.
I can’t say that anything took me by surprise. But I think that anything that may have surprised me was overshadowed with J’s cancer diagnosis just weeks after O was born.
Now, the thing that most surprises me is how well all three of us have adapted to each other and how well we all get along. It may read strange, but our personalities (so far) are very complimentary.
seriously, I never expected to have the kid who doesn’t sleep. It wasn’t even in my hypothetical worst case scenario. I had NO CLUE. Even for the first six months or so we just assumed that one night he’d sleep all night and that would be it. I never expected to be sleep deprived and stressed out for as long as we have been. I also never expected that the sleep deprivation would be so hard on my marriage.
I never expected nursing to be so hard and so emotion-laden. Even today, after being bitten THREE TIMES last night, I’m still waffling on how aggresively we should wean the lentil. Sometimes I think of weaning and I just want to cry. Sometimes he’s nursing and I swear to myself that I will never nurse him for another second once he releases.
I never knew how amazingly proud I would be of our family and of our son. I never expected to see pregnancy and childbirth as a drug that I crave way more than any baby fever before baby. I can’t describe the love and fear I feel in combination whenever I think about my son and worry about all the horrible things that can happen to people along the road of life.
I didn’t expect my child to look exactly like my husband. I look at her and I don’t see any of my or my family’s physical features in her. It’s strange. I think she’s beautiful and cute and all that, but I do wonder where my genetic material is. I really thought my child would look like a mix of us.
I didn’t realize how much my labor would affect me over the long term. I had the most fabulous, positive birth experience and it totally changed the way I see myself (for the better). I am a different person because of it.
I truly did not realize how much I would love my child and how much Dan would love her and how she’s made a new bond between us. No one else loves her like we do. That’s the most positive thing.
And now a question for you:
What’s thing that you and Dave do that you are most looking forward to sharing with your baby?
As I’m sure you know, I was not expecting breastfeeding to be so hard to get the hang of and so bf was the most challenging thing for me. I hadn’t done a lot of reading on breastfeeding and any info I had got was of the ‘get the latch right and everything will be rosy’ variety. I didn’t realise you can be doing everything right and it might still hurt like nothing else. Thankfully it didn’t stay that way forever.
I was not expecting how well I felt after the birth and how quickly I would feel like getting out and doing things. I second ann’s comment about labour.
I was definitely not expecting how lonely I would feel at home after D. went back to work. I was suprised at how much I need some adult interaction. I didn’t know I’d become such a social person in the last five years.
I have three younger brothers and I was not expecting how well they would take to Ava. It’s great to see how much interest they have. I can’t wait until she is moving around because then they will really have some fun.
I didn’t think it would go so stinking fast. Yes, I *knew* it would go by fast and yet I didn’t really fully grasp it. It feels like just yesterday they yanked her screaming little body out of me and yet she’s 23 months today.
I didn’t expect her to come out the spitting image of Erich and then morph into a mini me. And I didn’t expect her to be born with these personality traits just like her father. Some things she says or does or the way she squints her face remind me of Erich so much I just want to smile and cry all at the same time.
I knew she would love her Daddy and be Daddy’s girl, but I didn’t know the extent of it. I didn’t really think about how she would literally squeal and run into his arms, bring me his picture and tell me a story, nap on his pillow, and just absolutely adore him with every ounce of her being.
And on that note, I didn’t realize that he would be so great with her without any instruction or needs from me. I thought I’d be able to help him and teach him since he’d never been with a newborn, but just as mothering is instinctual to me, fathering is instinctual too.
Surprises during pregnancy: Second trimester HORN (which would also qualify as one of the good things)
Surprises post-pregnancy: How much I disliked breast-feeding, both how it just felt like a general pain in the ass, and because of this weird heat-flush sensation that happens that feels very similar to a roscea flush and which I psychologically assoicate with pain/discomfort. Didn’t like that part At. ALL. Also, I was surprised at how natural the maternal instincts felt… that role just seemed very, right. And it’s comfortable.
Good things post-pregnancy: That’s a hard one to narrow down. Remember those rushes you’d get when you first started dating Dave? Thos efirst love flushes? There’s something similar to that, but in a different way (obviously there’s no sexuality to it). It’s like a completion rush, an utter happiness rush. And I get them so may times a day and all I have to do is just take a moment to watch Flynn.