Hey, even I am sick of everything being about Knocked Up, and while this one will end up there, I had to break up the monotony a LITTLE bit.
Had my first graduation to shoot today, and so the season has started. I met my parents and left my car in a bank parking lot and rode with them to the campus, and when I got there, I thought I was going to hurl. I don’t know if it was because of the ride, or if that added to the already queasy pregnant stomach, or what, but I did not feel good. Wonder of wonders, a vending machine had ginger ale, and my dad bought me one. I made it through the event fine, and on the way back I got hit with the quease again, and was really annoyed to make it as far as my house before saying "No way, I can’t go to lunch with you." I just felt too off. I peeled off my dress clothes and crawled into bed in just my tank top, where Dave brought me a bottle of water and a tube of multigrain saltines and some tums, and my Amazon order, and I spent the afternoon napping, chewing on saltines, or reading through the new books: Your Pregnancy Week-by-Week, The Essential Hip Mama, and The Girlfriend’s Guide to Baby Gear. Hmm. Yeah. This is way focused on the knocked-upedness.
ANYWAY, I was really annoyed that I couldn’t go out to lunch because I like going out to lunch, and salmon sounded fabulous when I got in the car, and I couldn’t even think of it without feeling queasy by the time we got here. Bummer.
The other thing was talking about Christmas this year. Sigh. I’m due 12/12 (by my estimation, they have it by LMP 12/2– at the OB, which is wrong, but I’m assured that it will be corrected at the ultrasound on Friday, and it DAMN WELL BETTER BE. And if it’s not, and they try to induce, I’ll just not show up to the induction. I’m already planning my rebellion. I know when I conceived, not by intuition, but by "there’s no other time we could have.") and of course, 12/25 is CHristmas, which isn’t a christian thing for us, but family, etc etc. And my sister’s season won’t start until after christmas, and she really wants to meet the squidlet, and if she didn’t come in December, the next opportunity would be April, and she doesn’t want to wait. So I mentioned to my folks, in a conversation about Kate and Pete and the requisite "I wish they’d get married" comment from my mom, that they were at least planning as far as Christmas, because they wanted to come back for that.
Which then led to my mom saying "Oh, I’ll have to have the brunch, and then we can go to Sugarloaf after that and blah blah blah." Um, NO. I replied "I meant MY house. I will have just had a baby, and I don’t imagine I want to be traveling 2 weeks (OR LESS, let’s be real, it’s a first baby and all) after that." And my parents, even my dad, scoffed at me. "What!? Of course you’ll come for Christmas, that’s what grandparents are for! We’re getting a double bed for your old room, and a rocking chair for up there, you’ll be fine."
Sigh. No. No, I won’t. I will also not be fine with having to be a hostess at a brunch for 35 people, AND be still, you know, getting to know MY BABY. THAT WILL BE LESS THAN TWO WEEKS OLD. Especially when the plan is that we would drive up the day before, entertain, and drive back that day because my folks and Kate and Pete would go to Sugarloaf. Uh, no no no no no no no. I’m biting my tongue, but I seriously hope that my parents figure that one out for themselves and do the math, ESPECIALLY after clucking at a girl from back home who took her 3 day old to a benefit supper.
I would love, and will love, taking my kids to my parents house, and I love that they’re adding yet another guest room with grandkids in mind, and that they want a rocker now, for the baby, and all of that. I love it. I can’t wait. Except I can, at least 6 weeks, anyway, before enjoying all of that. I look forward to next summer, when the squidlet will be 6 months and growing when summer starts, and I can take it to the lake and go swimming and walking around town and all of that. But not for a bigass overnight party at DID I MENTION IT less than 2 weeks old.
My sister will understand, she already does, I think, and i would be okay having people HERE for Christmas, my immediate family, anyway. My folks could be in the guest room, and my sister and Pete are rugged enough that they could sleep in the backyard if they wanted to, so a floor somewhere in the house won’t be too bad.
I’m not crazy for thinking that their idea is a bad one, right? Even Dave was like "Uh, won’t we be all sleep deprived then? I don’t think I want to drive [2 hours on a notoriously accident prone road, in winter] up there for one night…." Sigh. THey’ll come around, right? RIGHT?
I’m sure. I think parents have a case of “head up ass” when it comes to things like holidays, you know? They’ll get used to it.
You may have to be very forward in standing your ground. Ted and I had to do that on a couple of occasions early-on. Luckily it set the stage for them realizing that we were the parents and we were the ones making the decisions regarding our kids (including taking long drives when it didn’t suit, keeping Libby out past her bedtime). There is something to be said for flexibility…but yes, you WILL be sleep deprived, it is possible that you will have no desire to SIT for 2 hours. And yes, you will still be in absolute awe at the squidlet and getting to know him or her. Give them some time to realize that it isn’t a reasonable request, but if they don’t on their own…definitely stand their ground!
Sadie was born 12/2 and we did go to family for Christmas (1 hour away) and we stayed there for 5 days. In once sense, it was fine, since nothing bad happened and sort of nice because we had lots of extra hands. In another sense, it was stupid because the baby was so little, we were so exhausted, emotions were running strong, I was just getting the hang of nursing her, etc. We still say, “What were we thinking that we agreed to travel for Christmas?” I think we were too sleep deprived to realize what a poor decision it was until after the fact.