In the break room today, I was filling up my teakettle when one of the student teachers that heard my spiel on Wednesday, and is student teaching in the 6th grade at my school, said, without any invitation… "I gotta tell you, I’d love to put a hammer through all of those iBooks.  I like computers, but I hate macs."

Now, no. Fuck you from the first sentence.  It became instantly clear that this guy figures I’m just a girl, so what could I POSSIBLY know about REAL computers? After all, macs are toys, right? Oh, no you DI’INT.

The first part of my spiel is my "Five Rules for Classroom Technology."  In that one sentence, he completely ignored rules 1-3. "Don’t pick [platform]sides, Use it to learn it, and If you’re not excited, they aren’t excited."  RIght off the bat.

"Well," I said, "macs are the computer of choice in education."
"But you can’t right click!"
"Actually, you can, you hold down the trackpad button until the right click menu pops up."
"I don’t want a MENU, I want to RIGHT CLICK."
I’m quickly understanding that this guy is a total dipshit, and probably loves AOL.
"Actually, on nay platform, you right click to access a menu. . .  so . . . ."

"Well, all the kids at my last school hated the iBooks.  ‘Why can’t we have computers like we have at home?’ is what they’d say."
"Because they are at school, and they’re damn lucky to be part of a 1-to-1 computing initiative, that’s why."
"Macs though, they can’t do anything as well as a PC.  Bill Gates was going to give every kid a free PC laptop, but they said it was controlling the market, and now we’re paying a thousand bucks for each laptop."

"Actually, Bill Gates had no plans like that, but he has given desktops to tons of schools and libraries in Maine through the Gates Foundation, and he also provided a million bucks to MLTI for teacher training.  And the iBooks came in at under 300 per machine, so it was much cheaper than any PC deal."
"I will tell you one thing," he said, "macs can’t do ANYTHING when it comes to video. Nothing!"

At this point, I’m about ready to explode from "are you fucking kidding me, asshole?"  I still don’t know they guys name.

"Well, you’re kidding, right? Because mac is the standard platform, coast-to-coast, for video production."
"No way. It can’t be, macs can’t do anything when it comes to video!"
"My husband has been producing video for ten years, and it’s all on mac. ANything you see on a movie screen or tv screen is produced on a Mac, almost certainly.  ANd honestly, this is why the university needs to have technology classes be required."
"Oh, I KNOW about technology. I didn’t take a class."
"But you don’t know how to use a mac, do you? So you don’t know much about technology.  In any school, you could be given a PC, a Linux thin client, an iBook, and you need to know how to use it, period."
"But I’m a windows guy, I don’t want to bother. I’m stuck in my ways!"
"Then you’re in the wrong profession. If you can’t be flexible with the computer you use, then you’re outta luck, because curriculums change, assessment systems change, classes change.  Need to learn how to deal with it!"

THis is the ABBREVIATED version. What a FUCKER.  It started while I got tea water, and he was photocopying, and he FOLLOWED ME out of the break room and all the way to my classroom door, where I wanted to just turn around and say "FUCK OFF, YOU ARE AN IDIOT."  I mean, he was so stupid that he doesn’t even KNOW HOW stupid he is.

ANd I know, I KNOW it’s because he’s a man, and he’s older than me.  Maybe he thinks I’m younger than I am because I’ve been teaching for only two years, but seriously. He is a MOE-RON.  It’s assholes like him, though, that will be teaching your kids, because he knows how to proctor a standardized test, for sure. ASSHOLE.

I cannot WAIT to tell Marilyn (my former advisor, who loves me, etc) about this conversation.  She is a retired PE teacher, has season tickets to the UMaine women’s basketball games, and a bowl haircut.  And also, a girlfriend.  Her middle name is TitleIX, and she will DIE to know that I was challenged like that.  I’m sure she already knows he’s a dipshit (Marilyn and I get along famously, and are both very no-bullshit) but this will crack her up. 

In OTHER news, Big Important University Guy emailed me back to say "Marilyn thinks you are terrific—and that is a pretty great recommendation." and schedule a meeting time; 3/29 @ 4pm.  It’s my mom’s birthday, so I take it as a good omen.  Because, OBVIOUSLY, there is still a need for teacher education.  Even if it’s from a GIRL.