I keep wavering between "They’re going to hate everything!’ to "It’s going to be just. fine. Re-fuckingLAX already" when I think about my portfolio defense tomorrow. I mean, if I didn’t have a kid? I think it would be way better. If I’d had an audience to teach, to do something more active than the resource project, I think it would be way better. But, I do have a kid, I don’t have an audience, and it’s DONE. It’s at least a B, i think, and so what — if my perfect 4.0 ends on a B, whatever. I’m done. DONE. Holy fuck.

Ingrid and I are going up tomorrow, I meet with my advisors at 10, and, I don’t know, show them my portfolio, I guess. WHile I have the portfolio concept down, I think I do much better talking tech, really so I can rationalize anything they question, almost for certain. Plus, there are certain things that are just default settings in my brain, that I may have overlooked or left off, but they at least know me enough to know that.  I sent the link of other portfolios and projects to a couple people, and they said that in comparison, I was okay. Good god, I hope so. Because if I leave tomorrow and they say "Graduation: Denied!" I will fucking need to call dave to come pick me up, because I won’t be able to see to drive home.

So, um, yeah. Tomorrow. 10 am EST. Send some good vibes in my direction, wouldja? Once this is over, officially done, I’ll be able to breathe again. thank god.