Okay, so I ordered a slingset pouch and support from the clearance section. (And um, am trying to negotiate a deal for a second pouch, thereby procuring a "whole shebang" set for like, 40 bucks less than retail. At least i can say my sling habit is satiated with used and/or clearance slings, even the custom was on sale. Right?)

AND, I don’t feel AS bad, because I have a job interview to schedule with your favorite Maine outdoor retailer, the Double L to the Bean, if you know what I mean.  I did the online app the other night, after hearing that they offer evening training hours for evening employees (which is what I’d be), I was pretty stoked. Google Maps puts itat 2 miles from my house, but that’s taking the main roads, and not the shortcuts, so literally, more like 1.5, and only 2 lights away. REALLY DAMN CLOSE. That’s cool for me.  They pay a great wage, there’s a 40% discount, and while it’s seasonal, there’s opportunity to become regular part-time.  (Or more, I would kick six kinds of ass as a trainer for them, I just know it.) I’m very excited about that.  Job interview means less sling-guilt.

But, I’m also supposed to shoot at a wedding on July 2 (also my birthday, yay 31!) but it’s a Sunday. And the wedding is back home. But then an hour from my parents house back home, and Dave was going to come with us and he and my mom were going to be on Ingrid duty, but it turns out Dave has to work on the 3rd (and then the 4th is off) so it would mean either my mom having Ing for a whole day, or dave driving us back at like, 10pm. Neither sounds good, and we both don’t think it would be in anyone’s best interests to have my mom solo for 8 hours, for the first time Ing is away from mama. I’m pumping, and she will take a bottle, but her fussy hour (anywhere from 4-9pm) can be taxing, and it’s a thousand times easier to share that with someone.   I WANT to do the wedding, Dave wants the income (of course, see Biggest Fear number 2), but damn, that will be way rough. The other wedding I’m doing is HERE, so at least the babe would have all of her own stuff handy, and it would be Dave and my mom on duty, and then I’m just a half hour away if all hell breaks loose.

The clients aren’t expecting me, it’s more of a "let’s try this out" kind of thing, where my dad does the traditional wedding stuff, and I float around and take pictures of random stuff, more photojournalistic stuff, to see how that goes over. If I’m NOT there,no one will know the difference. If I AM there, they get lots of extra (hopefully) cool shots. I explained the situation to my mom, and we’re going to try to work SOMETHING out, if I can even go for part of the wedding on the 2nd, just to see how it goes, and she and Dave maybe hang out in the town where the weddingis, and then Dave and I take the babe and go home at a reasonable hour, but I’ve still done something. That might work.

The job I’m interviewing for is not only reallllly close to home, but also evening hours (so Dave can handle that) and training doesn’t start til Mid-July, when many mamas are already back to work full-time, because we are not Canada. I think that that would be a fairly decent blend of income and not needing childcare.  Also, hello, it’s taking phone orders from a catalog, so my brain won’t be ripped in two every day, most likely. Banal, part-time, decent wage, superclose to home, evening job. (That has a ‘first aid room’ that I bet 5 bucks is where I get to pump, too.) I could swing that, I think. And hell, if I can’t? I quit! It’s not the end of the world if I quit a customer service rep job, you know? We’ll figure it out.

Everything will work out. I’ve been saying that since day one. Everything will work out. I justknow it. And having the proper slings for the proper occasions is just part of that process. RIght?