Today was my first aqua class. I totally wish I could’ve captured the whole thing on film, because it would probably end up being one of those videos that gets sent all over the internet with a "can you believe THIS?" type of tagline.

First, I was there early, by about 15 minutes, and the lifeguard said I could share a lane with the lap swimmers who were finishing up, but I really wanted to meet the instructor when I could see her, which would mean while I was wearing my glasses. So i waited.  Two other pregnant women showed up, and got in the water, and the next lifeguard said "you can get in" and I explained again, "No, this is my first time and I wanted to meet the instructor with my glasses on…" But, of course, the instructor was late, so about 30 seconds before she walked in, I said "fuck it" and took off my glasses and got in the water.

Oh, yum. That felt GREAT. It was in the warmest pool of the Y, and immediately felt good, sighted or not.  The other two women realized i was there for prenatal, and started to talk, and then the instructor showed up. (Incidentally, she left before I was out of the pool, so I STILL have no idea what she looks like. It’s a little thing, but I think unless you have poor vision, you don’t understand why it’s nice to meet someone when your vision is 20/20.)  To set the scene, you must know that the other two women (there were only three of us) were both younger than me, I’m certain, and had blonde hair pulled back in ponytails, and were not only wearing the same SUIT, but had the same TOWEL. Then there’s me, in my black Old Navy bargain-bin maternity halter tankini, that feels all kinds of weird compared to my normal tankinis, blind, and with my newly cut brown hair floating about unrestrained. Just to set the scene — Sweet Valley Twins, and me, a grown up Ramona the Pest.

The first exercise, we straddled a swim noodle like a horse, and ‘bicycled’ around the pool. It was then that the instructor asked me all kinds of questions (the other two had been coming for a while) and the other women chimed in with their experiences.  One has two boys already, the other is a first timer like me. We’re all due within the same month, we’ve all been feeling movement. We’re all mid-Master’s degrees, but I’m the only one that’s taking classes now. None of them could imagine ever teaching middle school kids, including the instructor, who HAS a middle school kid. (That’s not so unique. I’m always suprised at how "I taught 7th and 8th grade" gets the same kind of reactions that "I wash the exterior windows of skyscrapers" probably get.) After a few rounds of horse-bicycle stuff, we got kickboards. THIS is when it gets funny.

Sweet Valley Twins? They’re off, kicking away. Me? I think if I moved, it was backwards. It was too funny to be too embarrassing, honestly. Even the instructor laughed. I haven’t used a kickboard since I was maybe 9, and I was spending so much ENERGY and NOT. MOVING. AN. INCH.  The SVT’s have lapped me, and I made it to the wall, basically.  The next one was a side stroke, with one arm on the kickboard, which was slightly easier, but still not at all intuitive.  On the second ‘side,’ I got to the gutter at the deep end and had to stop, because I was getting frustrated and asthma-y, and I just had to breathe. It’s one thing to be doing weird shit with my normal body, but with my new pregnant body, it was totally different. But even with the instructor laughing at with me, it still felt good.

The next round was using foam barbells. I really liked those, even though, again, it would have been funny to watch.  We were in the deep end, arms extended to our sides, hands on the barbells, and were jogging in place. Well, the SVTs were jogging in place. I kept jogging up to the wall and having to jog back to ‘place.’  Eventually, I just started jogging in circles, because I could not stay ‘in place’ like the SVTs. So, picture it, the SVTs, perfectly lined up, jogging in place, and me jogging in circles like a drunken duck. FUNNY STUFF.

ANd yes, who the hell knows WHY I was able to propel myself sans-arms when in a VERTICAL position, but completely immobilized by not having use of my arms in a horizontal position. I am an ENIGMA, and you know it.

After that, we did some stuff hanging off the wall, and then we had some time to do some free swimming, which I totally took advantage of.  The SVTs used kickboards (showoffs!) and I just did four laps, if only to prove that I wasn’t a complete and total sinking barge.  The laps felt really good, too.

The SVTs (who were really nice, don’t get me wrong) also do the yoga class on Mondays, which is taught by the same instructor, so I guess I’ll be able to actually SEE her then.  One asked why there weren’t more prenatal classes through the week, and the instructor said "oh, we just don’t get many people to the ones we DO offer. If it were a regular class, it would never be continued, but because it’s a therapeutic class, we do them no matter the enrollment."  So I piped up, "Why aren’t there any classes after working hours?" Because, DUDE, who CAN go to the Y at ONE in the afternoon on Wednesdays?  I can see having mom&baby classes during weekday hours, because your targeting SAHMs, usually, but pregnant people are often working people. I mentioned that the only reason I was able to take the class was because I was a student with a REALLY flexible schedule.  I think the already-mom is a SAH, and the other first timer works down the street, and is able to take a full lunch hour. (Side note, most places don’t offer ‘lunch hours’ here, it seems. Dave gets one, but most people get 1/2 hours. When I went to Phoenix, I was totally amazed by having a FULL hour for lunch. )  The instructor sounded like she’d never considered that. "That’s a great idea! I never even THOUGHT about that!" and she kept going on about it, sort of working it out in her head what it would take to get an after-5 prenatal class going. The other women agreed that there would probably be more people in an after-5 class, too.  How could they NOT have considered it? So weird.

After, when I hauled myself out of the warm water, I felt like a moose. I’ve always loved being in the water, and oh, pregnant? It was FANTASTIC.  It was almost startling to be reminded of the new body as I got out. Either way, it felt great, and I can’t wait to go back. I’m so glad I signed up.

Next time, though, I need to remember to bring a comb or hairbrush. Also, I bought a WordLock at Staples today, for my gym use, and I totally love it. It’s orange. I haven’t had to frig with a locker combination since junior high (by high school, I wasn’t so worried about my stuff, I guess) and having one I could program with a word of my choice is pretty cool for my already-stupider brain.  (However, you can’t spell SNARK with it. Yes, I tried.)