Buying the stroller feels . . . big. I’m not sure why. Maybe because it’s the single most expensive thing we’ve purchased thus far (outpacing the crib by 70 bucks, even) or maybe because it’s the one item I’ve been, you know, obsessed over for so long, but whoa. Strollers are for BABIES. I’m going to have one. WEIRD. I don’t regret the purchase, not at all, but it’s just. Odd. I’m stoked that I got such a great deal, at this point I’ve calculated that we’ve saved over 500 dollars on baby-stuff, and that isn’t without compromising on what I want, either. I have very specific tastes, and very specific ideas, and I’m all about the Baby Bargains book and crash testing and scouring review sites and all of that – so I’ve saved 500+ on top-notch stuff, that isn’t gendered as all get out, or Pooh-ed to death, or whatever. Our next major expense will be the covertible car seat, but we have plenty of time to wait that one out, but if another eBay/Paypal coupon comes out, I’d probably use it to snag a carseat (new, of course) as well.
I feel weird about spending money, and maybe it’s because I’m the one actually doing the shopping and hitting "buy it now" or whatever, but when I brought it up to Dave, he had no qualms. "I know what you’re doing, and I know you’ve researched enough that if you think it’s a deal, it probably is. . . ." That’s cool, then. Plus, I’m getting a refund in January that will be plunked into savings right away, and this time i don’t need to buy an iBook with a big chunk of it, so that’s good.
The only other thing is body image, which was getting pretty low there last week. Ever since I quit smoking in 2001, I’ve had issues with my weight. It crept up, then I lost most of it, in order to be at a good place to TTC. 15 months of TTC and one miscarriage later, I had gained most of what I lost back. Not a happy place for me, but truly, I think that the thyroid thing had a LOT to do with it. When I was starting to gain way back when, they tested it, but it was ‘okay’ then, but I think it was around a 4 or so, which, at that time would be considered okay. The new guidelines would categorize that as hypthyroidism, but whatever. Over the summer, when I could really feel the difference caused by the Synthroid, I lost 15 pounds without really thinking about it.
ANyway, that brings me to now, where I’m pregnant, and puffing out, and feeling like I look ‘more pregnant’ than I should. Before my doctor appointment, I was feeling like I did when I was gaining slowly, just morphing out to more fatness, and even though I know — and knew — that this isn’t FAT so much as it’s FETUS, adding some pounds as well as pushing the existing stuff up and around, it’s still felt shitty. At my appointment, though, I found I’ve gained only 5 pounds so far (at 15 weeks) and that my uterus was way bigger and higher than I thought it was — the midwife said it was the size of a VOLLEYBALL, and even measured it out with her hands (to show her student nurse) and I left feeling much better. I’m not a giant fatass, I have a VOLLEYBALL inside of me that’s only going to get bigger, and even though my clothes are starting to be ill-fitting and I prefer stretchy waist mat pants now, it’s not just . . FAT. You know?
So, yeah. Not just getting FAT, but it sure will be nice to feel some motion down there to remind me of that. ALthough, it’s MY kid, so it’s probably doing Sudoku puzzles in its head instead of practicing it’s sweet ass DDR moves, so it might take a little longer for me to feel anything. Anytime though, kid, anytime.
It’s pouring rain, Thanksgiving vacation starts tomorrow, and I’m making Apple Cheddar Crisp with Cranberry Orange Marmalade Topping ( a recipe from Stonewall Kitchen) for a dessert. It sounds so sour and delicious, I hope no one likes it at the ILs and I bring the whole tray home. I’m looking forward to doing a little baking and cozying into the house this weekend. Dave has Thursday and Friday off, and we’re going to spend the weekend rearranging stuff upstairs so that when the crib (and stroller and other stuff) rolls in, there’s a decent place to put it. That will be kind of cool.