Finding out I was pregnant 5 days before school started really altered the way this semester is going for me. The focus of All Student! All the Time! shifted to Trying to Stay Pregnant! All the Time! Concentrating on school? Oh, god, it’s been awful.
I’m behind in my class projects, but I always am (and anyone who reads this, knows that well). I thought that by being on campus so much, I’d be all on top of my shit, but no, with a brain that is constantly, perpetually, assessing what’s happening in its underpants, yeah, that fucks with school big time. There are some FANTASTIC pros, though. Rolling in at noonish every day saved me in the first 6 weeks. Having night classes and being thoroughly exhausted when I get home means that Dave is cooking more meals, which is good parenting prep, I think. While the Union sucked for several weeks, all those smells, making me gag, it is now my savior. Any craving I have can be easily satisfied by the variety of food in the Union, and my building is one of the closest to the Union, so it doesn’t involve a 20 minute walk. When it is nice, I can walk around campus a bit, and that’s cool, too. The veggies and fruit here are always fresh, which is also good, and then there’s still veggie egg rolls for the days I just have a craving for, well, veggie egg rolls.
My one non-tech class, that is a requirement for my M.Ed., is sucking. SUCKING OUT LOUD. That perfect 4.0 I’ve been carrying is completely shot now, I’m sure I’ll get A’s in my tech classes, but this assessment class just blows big fat goats. First, it’s on ASSESSMENT, which is one of the reasons I will probably never teach in a classroom again. I am absolutely assessment-averse from my 2 years of teaching. Second, very few in the class have taught, but those that have know that this class is completely useless for a general teacher. Curriculum coordinator, sure! Go for it! But the MAT in French students will never have to score assessments and calculate SEM and SD and all of that crap. They won’t. Good information to know, sure. Whole class on it? FUCKING SUCKS. We had to write an assessment for an assignment, and we could work in groups, which was fan-fucking-tastic for the MAT cohort, because they are a cohort and see each other all the time and have an average age of 22. For the oddball IT student, you’re on your own. And that sucked. We had a test last week that absolutely blew, and I really wonder if I’ll make a C in this class. I have no motivation, intrinsic or extrinsic (well, technically I guess I do have some extrinsic motivation in that I don’t want to FAIL it, but you get the drift) and I just. don’t. care. So that sucks.
My tech projects, I’m behind in, but I’ll recover. I even got some done yesterday! It’s a matter of forcing myself to do it (as opposed to updating now, in the Union, while I wonder if there really is a thing as ‘too much fresh pineapple’) and I’ve just been tired and cranky and you know, pregnant and knocking on wood the whole time. I don’t mean to blame pregnancy, but my head is so far from school at times, even though I’m here (for 12+ HOURS today) more than I ever have been before.
On the plus side! I did just register for classes, and I have a great schedule for Spring. I’ll have Wednesdays totally off, which means I can participate in both the prenatal aqua fitness class at the Y, and the yoga class I used to go to as well. Prenatal stuff is offered at 1:30 Wednesday afternoons (seriously, what is UP with that?) and yoga is at 6. I haven’t been able to take yoga because I’ve had conflicting classes all year, so I’m really excited about that. It’s not prenatal, but the instructor just gives separate instructions to pregnant participants at certain points. I’m really looking forward to that.
I was initially planning on finishing up in the summer, but since it looks like I’m for real going to have a baby in May, I’m altering that a bit. My advisor is also the practicum advisor, so I’ll register in the summer, take in Incomplete and finish in the fall. It’s just 3 hours a week, so that’s cool, it’s not like student teaching was or anything. We’re trying to figure out a similar situation for my last seminar class, because I get 6 summer credits for my GA work (ie, no tuition due) and I’d like to max that benefit. Worst case scenario, I end up paying for one class in installments (it’ll be about 1k if not covered by my GA work.) I’ll then graduate in December, but maybe that will be better for my career situation anyway.
As to what is going on there, truly, my best option seems to be looking for part-time evening work until I finish my M. Ed. LLBean has a call center less than a mile from my house, and while I haven’t worked phones in 5 years or so, I worked them in different capacities for 4-5 years anyway, the research place, airline ticketing, tech support, and you know, I’m not a dumbass. I can give good phone, it’s not like bill collecting or anything, and the busiest hours for a call center are the evening hours, when Dave would be able to take over childcare. Income without expense is a good thing.
After that, it’s a matter of finding a job that would make working affordable. I need income, we’re going to be saving really aggressively between now and then, but still, we can’t live on Dave’s alone. And Dr Laura would tell me that he needs to find a job that pays more, screw happiness, but not me. He has a great job that he likes, where he gets to be creative almost every day. Rather have a happy husband with a little checkbook than a miserable one making more money. But, we will need income, so it’s a stressor as well.
And so, I hang my hopes on getting an LLBean job (close to home! easy! decent pay! evening hours! 40% DISCOUNT!) and looking for professional work after that. (LLBean would probably be seasonal, although I freely admit to harboring a fantasy of becoming one of their trainers, like "welcome! This is how you use our ordering system!" type people.)
It’s all so much! So much to think about! Which is why it ends up being easier to look for deals on slings (just scored myself a gorgeous avocado colored KKAFP) or comparison shopping crib mattresses.
Anyway. Seriously, I think I need more pineapple.