Thanks, y’all.  We’re really excited over here, and your good wishes just add to the excitement.

I made my first appointments with the OB (that I adore, have I mentioned that?) and they had me get my bloodwork done today (8 vials and a pee-cup) to test for all those usual things, and so that I can have a beta now, and I’ll go in on Saturday and get my second beta, to make sure everything is as it should be.  I like that idea, so I’m not going to run out and buy any name-brand tests, figuring nothing says "you’re pregnant!" like a positive BETA fercryinoutloud.  It will be nice and reassuring, and that’s cool.  I’ve changed my TTC ticker to a pregnancy one that follows development (and the heartbeat thing is a little premature for 4w, but whatever, it’ll catch up), and will put any pertinent data points in that entry.

I’ve told the internet, obviously, and Andy and Amy, and my sister, and my OB practice, and that’s about it for now.  Last time, we told my parents right away, but mostly because we were going to be taking consecutive vacations, and had other schedule conflicts that we weren’t going to be able to see each other in person for quite some time, and I really wanted to tell them in person.  I’m glad I did, and I have no regrets about telling people last time, but it’ll be cool to have a picture in hand when we tell this time.  We plan on waiting for the ultrasound (10.20) before telling them anything.  At that point, I’ll be 11 weeks, and since I started bleeding at 9-10 weeks last time, I figure if anything bad is going to happen, it at least won’t happen in the moment of anticipating a cool ultrasound. Because THAT SUCKS.

Honestly, though, I feel strangely confident about this one.  I already feel more connected, which goes against some research of pregnancy after miscarriage, but it just feels different. I don’t mean physically, it’s still early and I feel much like I did last time, but I don’t worry about that because it seems the pregnancy turned sour at 6-8 weeks.  When i say ‘feel,’ I mean, emotionally, it feels like it will be okay.

It feels like when I met Dave, in the brass monkey aisle of Marden’s, when I saw him and knew that we would grow old together.  It’s a big feeling to have, and a risky one to voice, but I did.  I went back to Amy’s apartment and said "I’m never going on a blind date again, because I’m going to marry this one."  It was such a bold statement, so unlike me, but it Felt Right.  THIS, feels like that cold December day five years ago. Just. Right.

I told my sister, partly because she’s far away so it feels safe, and partly because I’ve had to hold her secrets from my folks for extended amounts of time and I want to get even. (ANyone remember from D-Land, when she wrecked her brand new truck and didn’t have insurance and didn’t tell my parents for weeks? And then it worked out so goddamned perfectly that she got twice what the truck was worth once she told my parents, because it turns out she was never removed from their insurance? Sigh.)  She was pretty excited, and I’ve already told her to come home for May, because in addition to being due the day of my hooding, I am also due onthe BUSIEST WEEKEND OF THE YEAR.  Every year, MONTHS in advance, I am told to keep that weekend clear, because it has the most commencements of alllll the weekends of the year.  (This year, I was bleeding profusely in my car and locker rooms between shooting commencements. It’s that kind of busy.)  So yeah, my sister is already planning to replace me as a shooter, which will be good.  And it might not be so bad for my folks to be super busy around my due date, either, you know?

Anyway. Yeah. This just feels right. This feels like the one. This is cool.