I called the secretary to have her find a sub for the second half of the school day tomorrow, because I have class in the late afternoon, and I think I deserve the afternoon to go to my doc, right? Right.

So, the latest is that I am not bleeding. Nary a drop.  I also am feeling like total ass, to the point that I sort of gagged in the shower, and swallowed quickly, but for the girl who hasn’t vomited in NINE YEARS, it was the closest I’ve come.  I actually spun around and started drinking the hot water to get the taste out of my memory. I then put on my robe and curled up on the bed and fell asleep, when Dave woke me up I had to ask him to stop rubbing my belly because I felt gross.  He just smiled and said "Well, maybe you need to get used to that feeling . . . ."

I just went out to a client to try to help with an un/reinstall of NAV on his computer, and it didn’t work so i didn’t charge him, but I felt (and still feel) nasty and gross and hot and YUCK.  The thing that sucks is that there are so many reasons that I should be convinced that I AM pregnant, especially when you read back and I was convincing myself before my period was even due . . .  but the utter lack of a definitive positive HPT, and even conflicting results, is killing me.  To recap, I have nausea, appetite weirdness, smell sensitivity, fatigue, and you know, NO PERIOD.  I also have 2 tests with very faint faint lines.  The test line in each ‘positive’ test is the same color, it never darkened, however, the control line on the second ‘positive’ is lighter than the first . . . so was the overall urine intensity less this morning? If I had reversed the tests, would today’s faint line be darker? You know?  I also don’t have breast pain or enlargement, but I am a DD, so they are already big, and any tenderness I have is not the ungodly tits afire pain that I’ve heard described.  Maybe I’ll fell a quick, dull ache (noticed that when driving to the client’s) but what does that mean, really?

I’ve had some weird dreams, last night’s was about Dave and I bringing home a box of kittens from the grocery store, and one was terribly sick, and I was freaking out because A) wtf? We don’t WANT more cats, Fat Kitty is our one and only, and B) how can we even AFFORD all these cats, and C) if that one is sick, what do we do? We don’t even know or like these cats, so are we supposed to pay exorbitant vet fees to keep this kitten we don’t even know, alive? And D) what if whatever the sick kitten has spreads to FK, and when was her last set of shots anyway?

Do we really need to go into deep interpretation of that dream? I don’t think so.

And finally, behind the cut is an email I sent to my dear Persephone, who so patiently puts up with my "It’s  a SIGN!" nonsense.  It is so fitting that SHE becomes The Sign in the story below, and reminds me once again that the Internet is a small, small place.

(And, as I’m writing about signs, a tv character is talking about pregnancy pregnancy pregnancy. Sheesh.)

Okay, so FYI:

YOU POSTED ON MY FIRST ANNIVERSARY Which was also a SUNDAY.  Is it weird
to predict my period by looking ahead to see when you started that
cycle?