I love voting. I always have. I couldn’t wait to vote, but we waited til 6:15 to walk over, in the rain, carrying a hot mug of chai. There was no line, I voted, double checked that I had filled in the arrows for the right guys, triple checked, and walked home.

I had nightmares all night. I woke up, and wanted to throw up. Awful.

I spent the morning angry, and I got in my car and the DJ at the local college station said “Here’s a song, by tool, which reminds me of George. You know, geeooorrgggeee, the guy who had a thing last night? George. Was that subtle enough?”

And then he played Sober.

And I sang along, called my best friend who had voted for the first time*, ever, yesterday and cried as she left the booth. We commiserated. I turned onto the road to go to my school, and a huge rainbow stretched over the road. It will be okay, right? RIGHT?

Sober

There’s a shadow just behind me, shrouding every step I take, making every promise empty, pointing every finger at me. Waiting like a stalking butler who upon the finger rests. Murder now the path called “must we” just before the son has come. Jesus, won’t you fucking whistle something but the past and done? Jesus, won’t you fucking whistle Something but the past and done?

Why can’t we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can’t we drink forever. I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave, I will work to elevate you just enough to bring you down. Mother Mary won’t you whisper something but the past and done. Mother Mary won’t you whisper something but the past and done.

Why can’t we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can’t we sleep forever. I just want to start this over.

I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well. I will find a center in you. I will chew it up and leave,

Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust me. Trust Me.

Why can’t we not be sober? I just want to start this over. Why can’t we sleep forever. I just want to start this over.

I want what I want. I want what I want. I want what I want. I want what I want.

*As a dual citizen, it was believed that voting in either country would mean abandonding citizenship in the other country. After lots of research, she found that wasn’t true. It’s not just a slackass reason she had never voted; I actually took her kid with ME to vote in 2000 because she wanted to be sure he saw the process.