Test: Negative. Patiently awaiting the bleeding.

But, to pass the time, I went to the library. Here’s the thing. I’ve been reading every pregnancy/parenthood memoir-esque book I can get my hand on. And what drives me nuts is that they are all. fucking. pink.

It started with “Diary of a Mad Mom-to-Be,” which I bought several months ago because I had really enjoyed “Diary of a Mad Bride,” and no, neither was a life-changing read, but they weren’t Nora Roberts, either. And I really related well to DOAMMTB, the conversations between the main character and her husband were almost verbatim what my conversations with Dave have been. Then I read a book called “Midwives,” which was about a modern-day CNM doing midwifery for the Amish community. Not Amish, but still a good read. The books I’d read before that were “The Zygote Chronicles,” read during class breaks at the uni, and waaaay back in my Anne LaMott phase, “Operating Instructions.” I was in Phoenix when I read that one.

So, the other day, the Big Pink Book craving grabbed me, and I bought Sheri Lynch’s “Hello, My Name is Mommy,” which has an AWFUL title but is a very good read. Parts of it made me almost cry even, in that “YES! YES! That is why I want this!” kind of way. Of course, now, that I’ve plowed through those, I decided to postpone an Amazon binge until after my trip to the library. I ended up with one Big Pink Book (“Belly Laughs,” by well-respected, Pulitzer Prize worthy Jenny McCarthy) two Smallish Blue Books (“Operating Instructions,” again, to see if it will be like reading Go Ask Alice for the second time, and “The Big Rumpus” by Ayun Halliday, as it’s on every Amazon list in the world.) and one book with a cover design any cotton-tapestry-decorating & patchouli wearing college student (me, ca. 1993) would love, “Spiritual Midwifery.”

Yes, I still have “Under the Banner of Heaven” on my nightstand, but I cannot. get. enough. of the Big Pink Book world. Part of the shame of the BPB is procuring it. I know people in the bookstore that has the best selection, because I worked there for so long. Don’t want to raise eyebrows, or make people question my snarky,insensitive, indie-thinker cred! I also know people at literally, every library in the area, because I worked THERE too, and their eyebrows don’t raise in “God, what a sellout” fashion, but in “Hmmm, I wonder if the Patriot Act allows me to ASK if she is, because that would be sooooo exciting!!!!” Hence, the godsend that is Amazon.

Today, though, I tossed aside my shame/fear/embarrassment of being Found Out, and went public at my favorite PL; I didn’t even throw in a chaser travel memoir or educational theory book. All babies, all the time. Straight up.

However, I don’t think I can ever actually read them in PUBLIC, like I do with any other book. Eating alone? No problem! Curling up in a diner booth with coffee and a book for hours? My favorite pasttime! While reading “Belly Laughs?” Uh. I don’t think I can do THAT yet.