My Y classes started this week. Now, in the past, my two major anxieties about Organized Fitness have been a) being around the SuperFit and b) having to do some sort of routine set to music, everyone moves in unison thing. You know, aside from the general "I’m a much better reader than exerciser, omg, don’t look at my big fat reading ass!" crap. In the past, that’s been okay — the YW and the YM were separate entities, and I always did the YW (even when I was literally 2 houses away from the YM!) because I’d heard that it was a much more um, reader-friendly facility. (Allegedly, the YM had hot tubs in their locker rooms for the purpose of the SuperFit to hook up and make a date for the SuperBounty or something…) So, the YW classes I took — yoga and pilates, and the prenatal stuff — were generally some senior citizens, some Moms, a token divorcee working on re-hottifying herself, and me. Basically, pretty safe. Especially yoga, god, that was awesome, we basically did that in the DARK, no joke. Perfect for the body anxious participant.

My first class was yesterday, at the YM building (the YM and YW are now the same organization, just known as "The Y") and I walked in and was first struck by — OMG, DUDES. Now one was a retiree, but there were two others who were probably my age, or even younger, and that was just weird. Not because I’m trying to pick anyone up, but just because  . . . I don’t know. Maybe because mixed-sex fitness classes strike a little too close to every gym class I ever suffered through? That probably has something to do with it. On top of the DUDES! It was packed, and I felt all discombobulated because, first class, you know? ANd most people ahve been going for a while and I didn’t know I was supposed to bring my own mat, and it was the first time I’d really done any yoga or pilates in a really, really long time and there were frigging MIRRORS and shit. But? Amazingly? I survived. ANd wasn’t even that freaked out. Wild.

Tonight was the other class I was interested in, Group Power, a group weights class. I don’t know, I was expecting dumbbells and some slow, quiet, measured type of fitness. Oh no. This is barbell stuff set to music like, oh, "SEXY BACK!" And dancy! And Move In Unison-y! AND! ANNND! The instructor had me set up right in front of her, thus, right in fornt of the whole class, AND in front of the mirror. So I could totally see that about 80 percent of the time, I was one beat behind everyone else. (On the other hand, it was a much more YW demographic, no dudes, and lots of old people.) Again, I totally survived. INSANE. I felt like jelly legs, and well, jelly arms, when I left, and I was on the wimpy weights for arms (5kilos) and medium for legs (10kilos? I have no idea, actually) but I did it, and it was fine. In fact! I was facing this other chick who was in the yoga/pilates class the night before, and I think we’re probably in the same situation, unless childless divorcees dig on Pooh window screens, and since I was facing her, I totally recognized the deep concentration of trying to align with everyone around you, and that totally made me feel like a normal person.

Both classes, I didn’t do every single move, but I’d say I did about 80-85% of each class, and hey, that little educator in me likes a baseline that isn’t perfect, because when this session ends in December, hopefully, I’ll be doing more, better. Right? Either way, I’m feeling good about both, about how both of my biggest FItness Fears have been faced head-on, and it’s totally going to be okay, and even being away from Ingrid  has been okay, too.

And, I got a raise today! Just a COLA, but I went right into my ING autosavings, and tripled my deposit amount, because I’d rather save it than spend it, and if I haven’t needed it so far, then woot! More savings. Good day. Things moving in the right direction, for sure.