Tonight, I had my first bellydancing class. Middle Eastern Dance, specifically, but it's marketed as bellydance, who knows, maybe because of the terrorists? Anyway.

A year of Group Power, confronting the Fear of the Elliptical (and other fitness equipment) and I'm stronger, I'm pretty sure, but still, well, fat. And so, I'm adding to the repertoire, and what better way than to confront my weird freaking issues than by challenging myself with something like BELLYDANCING. When I was teaching in public school, we had a culture day, and a bellydance teacher was there, and I did the little 45 minute class with my kids and was pretty intrigued. I looked at it again, last year, when looking to do SOME type of group physical activity, but chose the Y instead. But now, the Y offers bellydancing. I worked it into my schedule.

It was okay. The first day and all, and just three students, but it brought up again how really disconnected I am from my body. Old drum, but I'll beat it again: I feel like a floating head 99% of the time, and am just not aware of my body. I saw pics of myself from the river cruise this weekend, and was like "oh my god, I'm such a fucking FATASS!" but then the same person that posted the pics started grad school this week, and taking three classes and working full time, and told *ME* how I was amazing for doing all that while pregnant, even! Because, you know, I'm The Smart One. Not the dancer, or weightlifter, or athlete, or Y member.

But the bellydancing class was right after a Group Groove class (a part of the whole Group X stuff that BTS does, with dance, for cardio) and my two GP instructors were in that — one was teaching, one was taking it, and two of the GG members were in GP, too, and there was this whole conversation of The Regulars & Their Instructors and I was part of it. That is so fucked up and bizarre to me! I Go To The Y.

(I mean, I've only been once in the last two weeks on account of the vertigo, and then there were no classes last week, but I've gone enough that I am a regular now… which is weird.)

I also am thinking about setting some goal of doing "the loop" (it's a mile to walk the perimeter of our neighborhood) with Ingrid every day, rain or shine. Our stroller(s) came with rain covers, and I have a footmuff, so it's not entirely undoable, and especially with a sturdy 2.5 year old this winter, I wouldn't be as skitchy about the cold weather. Oh, and I could leave the stroller permanently weatherized in the garage, since I have a volo for the car now…) That, and that I'd like to do charity walks, too. I think I'm going to start with Race for the Cure, this month, again with Ing in the stroller, just to Start and Do It. I love the idea of C25K, but I'm really, really apprehensive about running, and all the…. jiggling. And not just of my boobs, but of my belly as well. I don't know, it's always ticking away in the back of my mind, so maybe someday…

Basically, I want to be Stronger and I wouldn't mind being Less Fat. Hopefully I can get it all put together soon. But seriously, BELLYDANCING! ME! So weird.