Today, two of my (favorite) kids sat with me while I did attendance and lunch count. Kaitlin leaned over and said "We think we know why you’ve been out so much lately."  She looked at her friend (and cousin) A and back at me and said "Mrs. S — are you pregnant?"  I thought I would cry.  I was just writing about how that’s one of the things that makes me sad, that these kids I’ve had for two years, who have been asking me to have a baby, who have spent countless study halls compiling lists of names, will never get to hear me say "I’m pregnant!"  It sounds silly, to some, I’m sure, I mean, they’re KIDS. But they are MY kids, and they would have LOVED to hear that. They would have freaked, for sure.  And from Kaitlin and A, who I’ve already decided would be perfect sitters if I ever needed one (I’m serious, they are GREAT. KIDS.) are looking at me, hopeful that I’m going to say "Yes! I am, shhh!" and instead I tried not to cry and said "No, guys, I’m not."  Kaitlin’s face fell and said "Oh no…. do you have cancer?"  Because in middle school, when Lurlene McDaniel books are passed around like porn, it’s either pregnancy or cancer. One or the other.  I assured them that no, it wasn’t cancer.

I’ve written about Kaitlin before, several times, most recently because she was refusing to go on the class trip.  Today she came in and said "Mrs. S! I forgot the medical form and now I can’t go!"  I looked at her and said "Look, if you don’t want to go, I’m not going to make you, but I’d be really disappointed if you didn’t.  It’s your choice."

"But I WANT to go now!  How am I going to get the form signed?"

Well, after school, I drove down to her mother’s workplace, went in with the forms and the Magic Pen, and had her fill them out.  THe Magic Pen is a ballpoint pen with the barrel filled with snowglobey-water and glitter and stars and stuff.  The kids LOVE IT, but Inever let them use it.   After her mom filled out the forms, I told her "You have to let Kaitlin know that YOU got to use the magic pen."  She laughed and said she would.

In addition to the Magic Pen, there is the Magic Wand. And no, not the hitachi kind, jeez.  My magic fairy wand goes with me to assemblies, because it a) adds about 20 inches to my reach and I can turn around and get a kid to stop talking or whatever with minimal distraction and b) the kids LOVE IT.  Two dollars, it was, a cheap plastic wand, and they LOVE it.  "Turn me into a toad! DO it do it do it!" And I do, and they love it.  Even the baddest-ass 8th graders love it.  Other teachers sort of smile and roll their eyes, but fuck it. Kids First.

Before we left today, my coteacher was moving a cart across the room and the kids were all excited about our trip tomorrow, and Deb whispered, "Get on!"  She got me my Jolly Ranchers and pushed me around the room as I threw them to the crowd. "Uhh, Mrs S, what’s going on?"

"What, you’ve never seen a parade in a classroom before?"

It’s fun. And we’re weird. And my kids love the weirdness as much as they roll their eyes.   I’m going to miss them.

And, tomorrow I will be off on our field trip for 2 days of ropes courses and rafting and terrorizing 8th graders in their cabin tents after lights out.  ("Geez, guys, did you hear about that escaped convict that is somewhere up by where we’re going?")  ANd they will have water balloons and I will pretended to act mad about that, and they will attack me and love it.  We’ll eat s’mores around the fire and girls will cry and be homesick.  It will be awesome.

So, I probably won’t update til the weekend.  Take care, y’all.

*Confidential to NYC’ers — I’m thinking Th/Fri in Manhattan, Saturday in Brooklyn, and Sun/Mon on Long Island, with maybe a stop on New Haven coming or going?  You know who you are; I’ll email when I get back but wanted to get that itinerary up in case there are any conflicts.  Let me know!