Jay Leno: “Today a flight from Paris to Boston was diverted to Bangor, Maine because a passenger’s name showed up on the no-fly list. Did you ever notice every time there’s a problem with a plane they force planes to go to Bangor, Maine? When did Maine become Devil’s Island all of a sudden? Make them land in Texas. At least everybody there has a gun. They can shoot the guy.”

(It’s because we are the last major airport for flights leaving the US, and the first for flights arriving. We get air-ragers, no-fliers, and Cat Stevens. Whoo-hoo!)