. . . . to realize I’d probably be sadder if (okay, WHEN) the cat dies?

I’m waiting for my friends to arrive, and I’m laying on the couch, and my big, fat furry girl is laying on my feet, keeping them warm.  She doesn’t go to bed until we’re both in it, so she’s waiting with me.  She co-sleeps with us, and wedges herself between us by morning. 

The embryo is a ball of cells, not something I know, or ever really had to miss.  I told Laura that it feels like being in a weird dream, like the kind where you’re flying and you start to wake up, but you try not to so that you can keep that floaty feeling. . . .it feels like that.  It was a cool dream, and I hope I have it again and I hope that next time I don’t have to wake up to a too-early alarm on a weekend.

I now know that we have RH to consider, as I’m A- and Dave is O+.  When I start to bleed, I need to call my practice to get a Rhogam shot, because I’m miscarrying late enough to need it.  I also know that I’m slightly hypothyroid.  I also know that we conceived immediately after starting our vitamin regeimen, and we’ve kept it up since then, Just in Case.  I know that we CAN conceive, which truly, is half the mental battle.  I’ve found a practice I like — they have been fabulous, calling me and asking how I’m doing, scheduling stuff that needs to be scheduled, answering questions 2, 3 times becaue I’ve been so out of it I haven’t remembered the previous answers.  I cannot stress how much I believe going to an OB/GYN specialty practice instead of my germ-farm family practice has been the right choice for me.  (and honestly, I probably would have ended up there anyway, because the family practice DO does low, low risk, and would probably refer out for RH- or hypothyroid, according to the conversation I had with her last fall.)  I know what it’s like to see a bad ultrasound, and I know what it’s like to leave an OB office in tears. 

I am a firm believer in everything happening for a reason.  I have always held tight to that belief, and I am certain that there was a reason for this.  In due time, I will be a mother. I’m sure of it.