After school today, one of my kids, Kaitlin, was asking me about my upccoming trip to Florida.  "Can I go?" she asked," and I responded with an "I don’t THINK so, this is my romantic beach vacation with my husband."

She laughed and said "Okay, but bring us back a baby, Mrs S!"  I think I blushed. I know she did.  I mean, she just told her TEACHER to HAVE SEX.  It was one of those comments that she might make to an aunt, or a friend of her mom’s, you know?  So it was sweet, in a way, and sort of highlights how my relationship with my kids goes deeper than teacher-student.  I’ve had them for two years, so we really KNOW each other.  Of course, that’s the whole reason they are disbanding multiage, they don’t WANT kids to be with teachers for two years, even though it builds great relationships and trust and respect. Anyway.

Still no period. Nada.  It’s CD39.  I’ts been 14 days since the last GOF, and since the last alleged ovulation.  I am tired, and food averse, but I’m also running hot, so maybe it’s a bug. Or not. Who knows.

I’ve put Dave on alert; let him know the numbers, what’s what, and that if I start to bleed, I’m calling my doc right away.  He’s ready for the cup. "Is there porn in the office?!" and when I told him he could probably do it at home, he was still okay with it.  "You tell me when, and I’ll do it." 

When I start, I’ll call the doc for several reasons, all interlaced.  It’s been a year since my colposcopy, and six months since my last pap, so I think I’m due anyway.  I’ll mention the TTC (I know it’s in my records since the colp a year ago) the long cycles, the steps taken so far, with OPKs, special lube, missionary position, butt-lifting, vitamin cocktails, cycle calculations, cervical mucus observations, having sex every other day, everything.  The TTC is also part of the reason my eczema is so bad (stress exacerbates it) and why I’ve been slipping into depression more and more.  I’m hoping I can at least get a referral to the OB practice I WANT to go to (they only take new patients that are pregnant or seeking infertility treatment) for testing, just to get a baseline.  If there’s something really not working for us, I want to know, I’ve put in my year (almost) and if it all comes back normal, then great, we keep trying. But if there’s something impeding us that can be treated, let’s get started, you know?

Anyway. I feel like shit, in so many ways.  Thanks for all your insight on the Vagina Math, too. I realize how fascinating it is. Heh.