So, yeah, I had to look up what CD I’m on.  Thank god for mymonthlycycles.com, I’m on CD35.

This month has been odd.  I haven’t obsessed nearly as much as I have in any other month.  I’ve almost forgotten that I’m waiting.  I had a weird CM question last week, but that’s it.  I’ve lurked on my waiting messageboards, but haven’t had much to say. I’m just. . . . ambivalent.

Y’all know I’m a little odd in my patterned thinking of signs, but I always feel safest flying right after a plane crash, and I tend to think you can’t win two jackpots.  Now I’m wondering if I’m going to end up with either grad school funding, or a baby, but not both.  I certainly couldn’t have both, I’m thinking.

And which will it be? Which do I want more?  I want both, you know?  A baby, more, sure, but without that, then funding.  I love my program so much, and I love being at the university, and I love being in the basement lab, working away and making some cool stuff.  I feel it so completely when I’m there.  And today, my prof was talking to me and another student about SAHM-ing.  The prof is super-Christian (Honestly, one of the things that I don’t think I would like about lab assisting would be listening to his Christian music All. Day. Long.  As apparently, that’s what he does.) and was saying that SAHM-ing is the best thing, and I agree with that — to a point.  I said "It’s great to be a stay at home mom until they foreclose on the HOME part."  I think that for us, it will be more of a 60/40 solution type situation, where there will probably need to be some non-parent care, but hopefully at or less than 1/3 of our working time. . .. and grad school would be great for that.

But, anyway, yeah.  See? This is supposed to be a babyish post, and it’s going back to grad school, because I am so not even paying attention to the babyish stuff.  Sure, a surreptitious boob poke here and there, and a general wondering, but google has YET to become involved.  I havent even asked CTG about her tits yet, and I’m almost done the wait!  I’m thinking I’ll test on Sunday, if I haven’t started.

So, yeah. CD35.  Anyone else?