Definitely tired. Deeefffiinnniitteellllyy Tired.

Today was spent tossing back tea in an attempt to beat the fatigue, to no avail. Well, I guess there was some avail as I didn’t drop dead in front of my class, but the tiredness persists.

Also, definitely some painful breasts. Right now, they feel hot and big, if that makes any sense. (Oh, if I hadn’t blocked googling of my site, that would have brought in SO many hits.)

The Plan is to pee on that last OPK as part of the experiment. Either way, I’m going to try to not get too excited in either direction, but I figure what good is ONE OPK anyway. If the Fat Lady sings, I’ll be ordering more and OPK testing later, as a result of that weird positive over the weekend. Then, depending on how I feel, I’ll try to wait until Friday/Saturday to test.

I have three HPTs left from my cheapie internet order, and the my rationale is that if I need to order OPKs, I will also order HPTs, since the best deal is a combo pack, so there’s no harm in using what I already have, especially since they were so cheap, and since run-on sentences may also be a sign of pregnancy, no? 😉

Tonight, I was talking to Dave about how kb wants to order some of my work, and I said “She’s pregnant, too” and Dave was all “WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TOO? Are you trying to TELL ME SOMETHING?” I rolled my eyes at him, and insisted that if I were knocked up I wouldn’t drop it into conversation an hour after he got home. Duh. However, it does make me smile that even Dave is hypersensitive to All Things Pregnancy.

Today, when I got home and checked the mail, there was a package from Gerber Baby. It was addressed to the previous owners or current resident, and, as I mentioned, they DID just have a baby and were expecting when they lived here. But, it gave me a little electric shock to see “WELCOME TO MOTHERHOOD!” peeking out of my mailbox.

I was telling Amy (who has been a saint in all this, seriously, you guys only get about 10 percent of my Baby Mania) about how I had these 6th sense predictions about her first son, and her brother’s as-yet-unborn daughter, and I try to get a read on my own future children and I run into a brick wall. With my other “visions,” it was specific, and instant, and I can remember where I was when I had them, and there was no reason at all for me to have them — not like “oh, they’ve been trying, so it’s on my mind” (actually, I had one with Jess and the twins, too) but random, specific thoughts that are quickly proven right. For me, I have no idea.

For example:

–Amy. I was at UMF, and she was working back home, and I kept dreaming about her then-boyfriend walking near the grocery store with a little boy that looked just like him. In my dream, he was named Caleb, and he had big brown eyes. I dreamt it several times, and it was so unsettling, I tried to call Amy. However, she had no phone, and she worked at the nursing home, so I ended up calling there late at night when I knew she couldn’t get too in trouble for taking a phone call. (I had worked there, as well, so I knew the rules.) When I finally reached her, I said “WHAT is going on” I’m having these freaky dreams about you having a little boy, so I know something is up.” And she said, “Well, I found out today that I’m about 6 weeks pregnant.” (Also, Caleb was their boys name for a long time, before changing to Daeden.)

–Jess. I was home from AZ for the holidays and driving through Bangor and thought “Huh. I should visit Jess… I bet she’s pregnant.” I called her, and she was home, so I swung by. When I walked in, I said “Oh, I guess you’re not! I was just sure I would walk in and see that you were 6 months pregnant.” She laughed, and said “Well, not 6months, but look at this…” and she led me into the kitchen where it took me a minute to figure out Baby A and Baby B were two different babies living inside of her. (Also, she was about 3 months at the time, so 3 months x 2 babies = 6 months pregnant, right?)

–Jason. Last spring, I was in the Hannaford parking lot, I’m not sure why. It was dark and raining and I was thinking, out of nowhere “Jason’s first child will be a daughter, for sure.” Withing the HOUR, Amy called me to say “I had to tell SOMEONE and I can’t tell my parents, but [Jason’s girlfriend — now wife] is pregnant!” They found out this summer that it is, indeed, a girl. Again — not trying, not married, not anything I would typically ever think about — but there it is.

So, I have all these premonitions for others, and for me, it just isn’t there. No, that’s not right. They are there, but there are so many, every month, that I think I will miss the right one. I do have this thing that I’m certain I will have a daughter; that vision is shared by Amy and Jess as well. But when, I can’t pinpoint.

We don’t plan on finding out the sex, ironically enough. I LIKE surprises, but the sex is a good surprise, either way. Getting to that point is the nerve-wringer. Pregnant/Not Pregnant is a whole lot differnt than CuteBoyCothes/CuteGirlClothes, because at least in the latter, CUTE CLOTHES are always a result.

Ah well. We’ll all know soon enough.