Dave and I went to the Airport Mall to get groceries for dinner, and we noticed one of the vacant stores has been taken over by a Dollar Tree. Being that we are old and boring, Dave swung by to see if it was open. I read the yellow sign in the door, or tried to.

“Nope, it’s Optembering, Optemberning, Op, FUUUUCK … No, it’s not open. SEP-TEMBER 21, it opens.”

Dave and I were laughing at my inability to speak as we were getting out of the car and heading to the doors. A car suddenly backed up from a parking space, the driver was about 15, and we had to sort of jump away to keep from getting hit.

Walking into the store, Dave growled. “If that guy had hit you, I would have had to Optembern his skull.”