First of all, while hermia was jetting off to Wyoming on the company AmEx, I was sharing a double bed with my coteacher in a hotel most famous for being where Muhammad Atta and the other guy slept on the night of September 10. That is a pretty good example of the difference between the corporate world and public education.

Anyway.

Damn pregnancy calendar!! I’ve changed it around to suit my new predicted possibilities, which lets me know that I could be pregnant RIGHT NOW. And I COULD feel morning sickness on Sunday. Which makes the fatigue of today so much more . . . . meaningful. DAMN. I was TIRED today. T-I-R-E-D. And because I am bot abstaining from my one vice (caffeine) I was POUNDING it today to try to stay awake. Okay, like, 3 styrofoam cups of joe during the day — which is more than usual, I have one caffeinated drink per day, usually, to get my motor running — and I was STILL beat, so I got a medium iced caramel latte from Dunkin’ Donuts before heading up 295, and by Augusta I was at the point that my head was wobbling on my spine, and I had lost-time moments of complete sleeping-with-the-eyes-open-kinda. And I was driving. I wanted to get home SO badly though, that I pressed on. And when I finally did get home, I crashed on the couch. I then ended up upstairs with Dave and thought “Hmm, I should try towork in my last GOF (Goal Oriented Fuck)” and I was just TOO. DAMN. TIRED. So, tomorrow perhaps?

I really don’t want to worry about it too much, or try too hard, which is why I DID have a vodka collins last night with mexican food, and why I DID try to wake myself up with coffee all day. (because, really, a little caffeine is better than a lotta car under a pulp truck.)

I’m hoping that at my pap there is some magical doctor thing that will let me know I am pregnant, but if not, I don’t plan to test until the first week of school. That would make me officially very late, and give me something to look forward to that week. Heh.

For now, though, I will think about every yawn, bellyache, and passing thought as though it may or may not be a Sign. I can’t help but think of all the people that manage to get pregnant despite doing everything “wrong,” and I hope that what attention to detail I DO have will be beneficial.

So. Tired.