There’s this new local reporter that is about 21 years old, awkward looking, and gay-but-doesn’t-know-it-yet. David Cross does a great piece on the gay man voice, and that not all gay men have The Voice, but if you have The Voice, you are a gay man. This kid has the Voice. And, to make matters worse, his last name is a flurry of S-sounds. When he first got there, one of his friends said "You should really tone down the gay thing," and he responded "What? I’m not gay! You think I’m gay? WELL, I’m not!" and then he probably flounced away all huffy and shit.
Anyway.
Recently, he got assigned to go to Pennsylvania to do a report on the new LifeFlight helicopter. He went down there, and got to fly back in the helicopter, which is pretty cool. HOWEVER. His story started off with the beginning of The Corrs song, "breathless."
"Go on, Go on, Leave me breathless….."
Now, okay, sure, flying in a helicopter from Pennsylvania to Maine, over NYC, Boston, etc, would be pretty fucking breathtaking. I get that. And it’s not just that it’s a lame song.
It;s that it was for the LIFEFLIGHT Helicopter. You know, the one that swoops down into interstate medians or remote clearcuts to whisk trauma patients to the nearest hospital. The whole point of LifeFlight is to leave you the opposite of breathless. Right? Right? And, the song choice doesn’t do much for proving your straightness, either.
My uncle, who has since passed away, was married with children for thirty years. On his 50th birthday he came out of the closet, so to speak. I didn’t know him well when he was married but when he came out he moved to NY and we became good friends (he isn’t a real uncle, he is the uncle of my cousins…my mom’s sister’s husband’s brother…but close enough). I spent one weekend a month with him. But what I thought was interesting (and why I am telling you this)was that within two weeks of coming out he developed a lisp. I still don’t really get the voice change (now almost ten years since he has passed away) but I guess maybe it was his way of fully admitting/accepting/dealing with his newly (or not-so-newly) discovered sexuality. I always wanted to ask him about it but wasn’t really sure how to say, “hey, tell me about the lisp!” I miss him. I really, really miss him.
But, more to the point, I completely agree about the poor choice of songs.