I’m not sure a better weekend could have been had here. Seriously. The weather? GLORIOUS. The health? GOOD.

The weather turned into an instant spring on Thursday, when I IM’ed dave to let him know that Family Walk was back on. When Ingrid was just born, we did a walk almost every night when Dave got home, and we’d done a few when there was a warmish winter day, but I have so missed the balmy family walk! Thursday, we just went on our usual route. Friday, we went on the double-long route, that swings through the park, and Ingrid got to swing! She’s been once or twice this spring, but more out of desperation than appropriateness… anyway, it was gorgeous, so, swinging!

Saturday, Dave had to work the canoe race, so I put Ingrid on a blanket outside and raked out the front flowerbed (thinking the whole time that I should lure Amity over so she can at least tell me what I have growing! It’s a shame that this house used to win the grand prize of the Bangor Garden Club or whatever – it was a selling point in the house — and now I’m like "well, if it IS a weed, it’s at least kind of pretty.") Ingrid LOVED being outside — she entertained herself for a while by putting things in her block bucket, dumping them out, and putting themback in… then as I was raking, I heard her laughing, and as I was going along, when the big tree gotbetween she and I, she thought I was playing peekaboo, and thought that was great. Seriously. Raking in the yard, with a baby giggling behind me and the sun beaming down? Wow.

Dave got home in the early afternoon, and his sister dropped in, so that was nice to visit with her for a bit. After she left and another nap (I think) Dave was exhausted, so Ingrid and I headed to Brooks and to the park. There are certain families that I got to know on the stroller brigade last year, not know-know, but worthy of a "hello!’ or "fast asleep, huh?" in passing. There are the twins down the street, who I know are three, as I remember their mom pushing them in a double-bucket stroller past our house that first summer. There are the grandparents who take care of the grandkids, a boy and a girl, and hustle around the neighborhood like racewalkers with Jeep jogging strollers. There’s the working mom who is out after 5, with the blonde little boy… anyway, when Ingrid and I were out, I saw the working mom in the distance, leaving her house with a bucket stroller and the little boy, and her husband, but she didn’t get half a block before they turned around and she lugged the bucket into the house and the dad got the little boy into the regular stroller they used all last year.  Once again, I’m soooo glad I found babywearing before I had Ingrid, and that it worked so well for us…

At Brooks, Ingrid waved to everyone, the pharmacists, the cashier, other customers, and squealed in basic happiness. And! They had Mini Eggs on clearance! I thought I’d totally missed the Mini Eggs in the months of sick, so to get them on clearance = double happiness!  From Brooks, we went to the park, and Ingrid swung for a while, and we walked home.

Last night, I worked on updating my local mom site — this spring, my plan is to do reviews of the playgrounds, and so far I have two done. I updated all of my software, installed a spambot-killing mod on the forums, downloaded a new theme for the blog, and set up a flickr map for the flickr account.

Today, I got up and made Sunday pancakes for breakfast, but mixed up a double batch. The first batch were breakfast pancakes for Dave and I, and into the second I added a bunch of shredded zucchini and cheddar cheese, for Ingrid to take to daycare. She eats pancakes there, that they provide, so I figured it’d be a good vehicle to get a little more nutrition into her, and they should freeze well, I hope.

My parents got here around 10:30, and Ingrid and I went with them to the Home Show, while dave worked on the yard. At the home show, I had one mama ask me about my wrap, and doing the babywearing secret handshake ("I had a ring sling, and didn’t learn about wraps until she was really too heavy…" of course, an hour later I saw her carrying her preschooler, anyway!) and I got info on replacement windows. (Aside — I hate baby buckets, we all know this, but I saw one family with a baby Ingrid’s age/size, EASILY, with their baby in the bucket, clipped into the stroller. HELLO, you don’t NEED to use thebucket with the stroller. That almost irritated me more than the general bucket issue does, because the kid was clearly big enough to be able to handle a stroller, at least.)

After a few hours there, we came back here, and my folks went home. We got a sub from the place down the street, and split it, and then walked to the other park, which we realized is probably the closest one to our house, but because it’s across a very busy street, we never go over there. I got some pictures for the website, and we came home, fed the baby, bathed her, and she went to sleep. I made dinner, which was way too much work and effort and mess for what it was, but whatever. Dave did his laundry, I washed most of the dishes, and watched TAR, and here I am. So not ready for work tomorrow. It’s supposed to be 78! SEVENTY EIGHT! Crazy.

Life is good here — I hope it is there, too.

Edited to say, oh, right! There’s a new April album.

Sinus Infection getting me down, man. Ugh. And I finally called my doctor to get it looked at, found out my doctor doesn’t practice there, and was annoyed from start to finish, which just reaffirms my decision to switch practices. (I’m in the midst of doing that, but I neeeeded to see someone since every time I blew my nose — a lot — it felt like my eyes and teeth might pop out.)  Now it’s moved a bit lower, with a dry cough. Ugh.

Aside from that, things are going well. Work is going well, I’m kind of surprised at how easy a transition it’s been… I’m still pumping 2x a day, because the mythical year mark is SO CLOSE (scarily close) but I will be soooo glad to wean from the pump.  Weaning Ingrid isn’t in the plans, though, as we all really dig the nursing thing still, and as long as all of us are digging it, then we’ll keep on keeping on. I can’t believe she’s going to be a year in 7 weeks. OMFG.

Daycare is going well for her … she’s still not crawling, but she goes to her belly on her own more and more, and kind of scoots backward (um, angrily) so I’m not really concerned, but as she’s the only immoble baby in her room, I think she’ll have more fun joining in than watching. My parents visited her there yesterday, and my mom said that she thinks she gets held a lot, which… awesome. I have no problems with that. Her caregivers love her to pieces, it’s obvious.  I joke that daycare is a better mom than I am, for lots of reasons… like, at daycare Ingrid will never end up watching yet another Sylvia Browne episode of Montel, and at daycare, if Ingrid gags on table food, there’s a fleet of First Aid/CPR trained adults to save her.

Tomorrow we’re going to the mountain — my mom’s birthday was yesterday, and we have reservations at a place for dinner, and I’ve called ahead and given them my CC # to pick up the tab in a discreet way. (And yes, I’m sort of skeeved by leaving my CC#, but it was the only way I could do it the way I wanted to, and I used our actual CC so that if some pissed off hostess steals it, at least it’s not accessing our credit union accounts directly.)  That should be fun. I wonder if I’ll be able to taste anything by tomorrow night.

Speaking of taste, my cookbook arrived, and we had Real Dinner all week. Not at the table, yet, or with Ingrid, yet, but it felt good to be eating Real Dinner and not Convenience Dinner.   Our new television has shipped (did I mention?) I solved the "I want a very expensive modern credenza" issue by just buying a new tv. Not anything fancy, not flat screen, not HD, but a bigger, digital tube tv with speakers that work, so we don’t have to do the tv through stereo necessitating wobbly speaker stands thing anymore.  Plus, it’s digital, which means we’ve added a channel to our cable-free lineup. (The CW, of course. heh.)

Also, one day this week, Ingrid and I were on the couch after her first nurse of the evening, and she was laying on her back on my chest, and kept whipping her head to the side so I would smooch her cheeks. It tickled, or something, she loved it, and was giggling hysterically. She just kept smashing herself into my lips, and it was such an absolutely perfect moment, that I totally cried. I love her so much. I can’t believe she’s almost one.  Where does the time go? Seriously?

I tried to mobile post this week, but it didn’t work, so blahhhh, but highlights:

Work is going really well, and I just put in a request for a MacBook pro, since I have to use mac in the school of ed, and winxp in the other schools, really, it only makes sense for me to have a macbook pro. (Plus, since my job is requiring me to go into classrooms, etc, and they are moving to have a laptop plan and wireless campus, etc, I really should have one, no?)

We have been playing sickness Whack-a-Mole for weeks now, and I’m so, so tired of it. Just when we all feel good, another one falls. It’s ridiculous. Poor Dave, this weekend is our crazy-busy weekend, where he had four games in 3 days, and I had tournaments to shoot, and by the end of the 1st period of his first game, he had to go home, and he threw up until 2:30 am, and hasn’t been out of bed yet today. He called in for the games, which if you don’t know him might not seem like a big deal, but he’s taken 1.5 sick days in the 6 years I”ve known him, and this weekend is all OT, so it’s especially poignant that he’s not powering through it. Poor guy. 🙁

I got my car inspected! It cost $500 to fix the stupid ABS light (fried sensor) but they fixed it, and inspected it, so yay, no new car for a year or so now. (Which is fine, actually, as the less we spend the better i am, really) I do still really want an 07 CRV, but now it will be a used one. 😀

Ingrid had her 9 month checkup, she’s 18 pounds, 27.25 inches, 50th% for both, but 90th for head. I still have to write a mothly post, hopefully this weekend. But, that’s the quick and dirty. I hope everyone else is enjoying thriving good health, and that we all are too, soon.

Hi! Hi there! yeah, it’s been nuts.

For one, I’m all employed now, can you believe that? And while I use my pump breaks to read my bloglines and stuff, I can’t exactly do any of my own posting. (I can’t pump hands-free. I’ve tried everything, but it’s just they way my boobs are shaped, so I go one side at a time. Whee!) Anyway.

Work is going really well. My coworkers are similar enough in age and experience to make it comfortable, especially when it comes to the whole working mom thing. For instance, my car wouldn’t start on Monday, so Dave and I had to carpool, and when we dropped Ingrid off at daycare I noticed she had *no* jarred food in her cubby, which she needs, as she’s pretty unimpressed by bottles these days. So I had to drop dave off, go to hannaford, back to daycare, and then to work. Luckily, everything is really close by, but still, it slows a day down, and I called and left a message with my coworker saying I’m on my way, sorry!.SInce I technically go in early by starting at 7:30, I said I’d just stay til 4:30 to make it up, but they told me not to bother, since I’ve been eating at my desk anyway. Cool! And on Tuesday, I had to take dave’s car and do daycare dropoff, which made me later-than-7:30 since daycare doesn’t open til 7:30, and again, no big deal, that’s fine.

So, right, my car died, but it was just the battery, which is awesome. However, this is on the tail of Dave and I having some weirdass illness, where Dave had been sick for more than a week, and I about the same, that came in these weird waves of "hey, I feel good! let’s eat something other than soup!" and then crashing down to both of us feverish and being thankful for 2 bathrooms at 1am. FUCKED UP. Anyway. Today we both felt much better, went to work, and I got sent home at noon because the college closed, and Dave was told to go home at 3, but he really wanted to finish one of his projects, so he stayed til 4. I picked up Ingrid at noon, and we got our first-ever school projects — a valentine frm her, with her little smudgy handprint on it, and then pictures — one of her, laughing, pasted on a big pink heart, and another of her and my mom on a pink heart as well. (My mom had stopped in to visit her last week while she was in town for her MRI.. more in a minute)  She also had a Valentine’s crown, that all the babies wore on their buggy ride around the center today. I guess it was ridiculously cute, and Ingrid hated hers.

MRI- my mom started having trouble hearing in one ear last summer, and her NP said totake Sudafed, but it never cleared up and I was so frustrated with her hearing loss, I insisted she get a second opinion, because clearly, Sudafed was not curing her newfound deafness. She had her audiologist appointment last month, and they found siginificant hearing loss in one ear, and since it was sudden, the guy wanted an MRI done to rule out a brain tumor. Fun! His logic was that if you came in with chest pains, we’d rule out a heart attack, and that makes sense, but still, brain tumor sounds scary as shit.

And then, today! Today we both feel almost human, though because I finally slept well, I was in one position all night, which led to a plugged duct, YAY. And the snow came, so I was glad to have my car back, and when they closed school for noon, I was totally excited. I sang to Ingrid when I picked her up, "this is why mama is in educatttiooonnn!"

For Valentine’s Day, we aren’t super sentimental or anything, and knew that this year would be way better than last year, which was the day of "get rearended on way home from ER after being doped up with morphine for back spasms" but all of us getting home early was pretty nice. Dave is making me dinner — real dinner, like, he went grocery shopping and cut veggies and is following a recipe and everything dinner! — and I got hime a few books, one even, gasp! a hardcover! New! But he’s been whining about not having any good books to read, so I picked up an anthology of Lovecraft inspired stories, and "the Ruins," which was well reviewed, and features some mayan temples  or something, so that’s cool.

I hope y’all are doing well out there. I need to test my remote posting again. I missed ROLLINS DAY, and I never miss that! So, Happy Rollins day and happy valentines day and all of that.

New pics of Ingrid, oh, somewhere over there… under February. Anyway.

Work is going well, so, so, so much different from teaching.  I don’t have to be ON all the time. I’ve just picked up Dave’s cold, and, well, whatever, I’m in my cube-office all day anyway, so blowing my nose and crap isn’t distracting.

Also? I’m listening to MUSIC. You can’t listen to music when you teach. Not at all. I’ve had Pandora on for two days, and now I’m playing with finetune and totally amazed. How do they have like, every single song, ever? Including random shit like Moxy Fruvous or that Urbal Beats compilation from like, omg, ten years ago. INSANE.  Also? Listening to old This American Life episodes is cool, too.

I’ve made my google personalized homepage my homepage, which is basically Dashboard for Windows, so, that’s cool.

I am so. tired.

More later….

When I finished my undergraduate degree, I was already teaching, but I switched to being a salaried, official teacher iin December, as opposed to a long-term sub/student teacher. Since Dave had supported me through basically all of my UM time for that degree, I always told him that I would get him a graduation present. With my first check, I bought him a PS2, with all the accessories. (I actually had my kids help me pick out what to get, which they thought was SO cool.) But, my degree(s) have involved a lot of sacrifice on Dave’s part, with the crossed fingers that it will all pay out in the end. Of course, this time his big prize wasn’t nearly as cool as a PS2, but instead a new carseat for his car, as Ingrid is outgrowing the bucket and he’s doing daycare dropoffs.

I’m fantasizing a bit, too, about getting a paycheck.  One of the first things I want to do is re-subscribe to People. It is my guilty pleasure, my not-so-secret shame, and it was soooo cool to get it for 6 months as a baby gift, you have no idea. So, there’s that, I think for my wholly unnecessary splurge. I mean, the addition of my income is tempered by the cost of daycare, but it will still be profitable after that, and those profits will pretty much go to savings, or, savings with a purpose. We need a new oil tank this spring, I need new glasses, I want/need a new car eventually, as well as house stuff: windows, siding, roof…

I also want to warm up my office/cube a little bit, but I have no idea how. What do you have in your office? Any suggestions for me? I have windows, one cube wall, and one cube wall with the overhead shelves with the metal doors that lift up, and lights underneath. Blank slate. Anyone?

Yeah, yeah, I KNOW. I NEED A JOB. But I’ve essentially decided that I want the CR-V, and not just ANY CR-V, but the 2007 CR-V. This wouldn’t happen til at least September, I’m thinking, but seriously, this is what the Edmunds.com review says:

Although the all-new, third-generation 2007 Honda CR-V is likely to
appeal to buyers of all ages and both genders, Honda’s target audience
for its redesigned small SUV is women in their early 30s with a child
under two. And when you drive the new CR-V, it’s obvious the company
had this audience in mind from the very beginning.

Hmm, yes, that would be ME. In looking back at the different models, the truck-like appearance appeals NOT AT ALL, whereas this new model is much more car-like. And dude, has center-LATCH anchors (3 sets across!) which means not one thing to anyone that DOESN’T have a kid, I’m sure.

Dave totally understands the stupid thrill of researching new cars, he does it ALL the time, and last night was like "we should go look at the CR-V!" Everytime I mention it, it’s stated, out loud, that this is totally my way of coping with daycare, going back to work, etc, and that he shouldn’t fear coming home and finding I’ve traded in, oh, the house, for a new car. Of course, his thrill extends to his job, where he sees all the new car stuff, spends lots of time on car lots, and even drives a lot or new cars when he’s working. (He doesn’t only do car commercials, but he does a lot, and does all of them for the company that deals Honda.) So, tomorrow we’re going to go look in the windows at the Honda place, because we are HUGE geeks, and are into virtual car-buying.

I’m also getting Ingrid’s stuff ready for daycare, my Mabel’s Labels came in yesterday, just in time, so I’ve labeled her bottles and sippy cup (Oh! Today she figured out haw to use the straw-based Nuby cup! I’m so proud!) and I’m writing her name in stuff, getting everything ready, along with a list of questions. At the uni, I could leave food there, in the kitchen, and then she had a cubby for her coat and backup clothes and all of that. At this place, I saw her cubby (smaller than the uni one) but I’m hoping I can leave food there, like "hey, just feed her one of these jars and some of this oatmeal and a few of those veggie puffs" but we’ll see. In doing that, I’m bib-shopping (I know, shut up) because we’ve been using the little cotton bibs for now, but they A)generate a ton of laundry and B) do nothing for her sleeves, when she’s chasing avocado and blueberries all over her tray. I have these Bumkins sleeved bibs in my Amazon cart, but haven’t yet pulled the trigger. I’m thinking of getting two, one for home and one for daycare, with the thought that they can just be wiped down daily, and then maybe washed weekly. Anyone have any experience?

The next big, giant, HUGE worry is about the new morning routine. Where before, we wake up just as Dave is leaving for work, we are going to all need to be getting up earlier. The plan is for everyone to get up at 6, I take a shower, Dave dresses the baby. I get dressed, Dave takes a shower, I feed the baby, Dave takes the baby to daycare, I go to work. There will be a nurse-up in there, I’m thinking, but I realllly hope that this doesn’t mean that suddenly Ingrid needs to go to bed earlier, because that will wreck me. (Currently, she goes to bed at 7ish) Instead, I’m hoping she consolidates her naps a little better, and maybe sleeps more during the day, so that I get her more at night.   This coming week, I don’t have any work scheduled (yet, knock on wood) so I think we’ll try a transition to an earlier wake up time for all of us, maybe trying 7am on Monday, I’ll take her to daycare, and then go to the super’s office to see about subbing, do some housework or something, just to let Ingrid get accustomed to her daycare gradually. I’m going to miss her, though.

I better have an awesome car this time next year.

No word yet, on any of my resumes or temping or whatever. I did, however, see that my degree status has changed in the campus info system, meaning my stuff has been processed and I honest-to-god have a master’s degree. So, that’s cool.

Ingrid starts at daycare on Monday, regardless, and if I don’t have any temp assignment, I’m still going to take her to transition her, and then go to the superintendent’s office to fill out subbing applications. And that’s fine, because a gradual transition sits better with me, anyway.  Damn, I hope I get a bite, get something, some kind of forward motion with this whole ‘job’ thing.

Being all consumery and crap, part of the way I keep this job-fire lit is to compile mental lists that employment will afford us… aside from daycare, of course. I could use some new glasses, we’d like to do the windows/roof/siding eventually, and the big "I will research into the ground" product is a new car for me, because of the whole uninspectable thing going on with mine. WHich, I’m totally not worrying about, the new rules are set up to make it so that poor people can’t drive, and right now, I’m poor. I’ve been hearing lots of crazy "the car didn’t pass because" stories, and fuck, mine WON’T pass, to get it to would cost more than I paid for the car, probably, so I’ll just wait and if I get a ticket, whatever. Cheaper than a sticker.  ANYWAY. While we love our Subarus, our local dealer totally, completely sucks, and we’ve always said "oh, we’ll just go to dealer-in-a-town-an-hour-away" but as we tried to figure out how to get my car inspected/serviced there, we realized that tha was a real pain in the ass, too. I love my Outback, but now we’ve been talking about small SUVs — the Toyota RAV4 and the Honda CR-V. My SIL had the CR-V a few years ago and didn’t like it, didn’t like the AWD as compared to a Subaru, but damn, there’s a lot of pros to that car (not the least of which is that it’s sold by an in-town dealer that doesn’t have a horrible reputation, and that is also a client of Dave’s, which lowers the ‘I’ll screw you over’ threshold to about nil, since he gets on well with the president/owner/whoever guy, who is just a few years older than us..)  Toyota isn’t a client, but my folks have switched to Toyota because they like the dealership and service people so much.

Anyway, it’s all a fantasy world right now, of course, because I don’t have a Damn Job. I haven’t had a car payment in five years, and haven’t shopped for a car in, god, ten. (Holy shit! TEN?!) The last car I shopped for I bought from the Honda dealership, actually, but it was a used ford, and they were good to me then, too. (TEN YEARS, though? HOLY FUCK.)  Regardless, that wouldn’t be for a loong time, summer, anyway I’m thinking, but just daydreaming about having a new-to-me car is a little bit exciting. . .

In other news, my parents are coming back tomorrow, after having their return flight cancelled and rebooked for tomorrow because of the Texas ice storm. They lost a day with grandma by being stranded in San Antonio (it was a trip to grandma’s with a meeting in SA stuck in the middle) and then gained that day back with the flight cancellation. Of course, we have a nor’easter incoming, so that might fuck up their return flight, too, and almost certainly guarantees they wills tay with us tomorrow night (which is totally fine, Ingrid will be excited about that, I think.) Denver blizzard screwing with my family’s travel plans? check. Texas ice storm doing the same thing? check again.

I’m tired. I want a job and a known income and my savings account to grow quickly. Yawn.

So. Fucking. Tired.

We went home for the funeral today, which was so so so sad… standing room only, literally, and people from allw alks of life mourning my cousin. So many grown men in Carhartt and work boots, crying their eyes out, and my youngest cousin is still waaaaay in denial, spending much of her time twisted around in the pew smiling at her friends (who sat in the family section, and got all eye-rolly when I asked them to slide down so that Dave and I could sit. Sigh.) Lots of people were happy to see Ingrid, but so much sadness… my parents, especially, in looking at the photos of his life, so many were taken at my house, at the mountain, or with my folks or BY my folks — they were really a huge part of his life. I feel quite peripheral to that relationship, for a lot of reasons, but seeing it all laid out in photos like that made me so sad for my mom and dad. For family here, he had his kids, and he had my parents. I was just telling dave that I’d spent a NYE with all of them at the mountain a few years back, where they got horribly sick, and I was going insane trying to sleep between the sounds of EC puking and my parents snoring. (I wrote about it on the old journal, even…)

The kids are… kids. EC is surrounded by his friends, at the house, all skaters and hipper than thou and such, but good kids in general, and Ashley is just up to her eyeballs in denial, her mom took her and some friends to the camp for a new years eve party. MMmmm, party. And EC’s friends dressed pretty appropriately, while Ashley’s were in Wheelies, which just really bugged me for some reason. I don’t know, kids need their friends, but the roller skates could have stayed home, you know? There was the usual array of funeral food, which I am convinced exists solely to make sure you don’t sully a favorite food with a sad memory, because WHERE ELSE do you see cream cheese crustless sandwiches, or ground spam? Seriously. At a funeral, the only identifiable sandwich is egg salad, and I always aim for that.

We went back to the house, which was just family, but sad in a different way — the way the place was plasted with pics of his kids, the birthday cards from the kids still on the fridge, christmas cards on the mantel and whatever. So, so, soooo fucking sad. And the legal stuff hasn’t even been scratched yet, because all the lawyers and such are on vacation — so the custody issue is the elephant in the room; with Ashley assuming she’s moving to KC with her mom, and EC a little more aware, and wanting to move in with his friend, but understanding that that’s just not what’s going to happen. That’s still  a great big Undecided.

We left the house at 7, and came home, and we’re both beat. Dave had Ingrid in the basement for almost all of the service, while I sat upstairs as part of the family, and man, I crieeeed. So. Fucked. Up.  We had just 30 guests at our wedding, he and the kids were three of those guests, and when I look at our guestbook-photomat, there are a few names on there that I’d have expected to go before Colson. Christ, my MIL, for one, since, as dave has said, at least once a year he steels himself for it to be The Final Illness, and he’s been doing that since heart attack #1, when he was in SECOND GRADE. Not… COLSON.

Long day. I’m way, way, ready for 2007.