Well, the Christmas Eve dinner of Subway & Chips at my MIL’s 10×12 efficiency apartment went better than I expected, actually. I got a gift certificate to an import store (amazingly, it was something I WOULD use, thanks to my niece being the one who drew my name and her being the coolest of relatives.) and Dave got a grinder from our BIL, so he was psyched.
The Good: I held a baby. This is kind of a big deal for me, because I haven’t held a grand-nephew yet, because of a lot of reasons, jealousy, resentment, fear of being ‘found out’ as TTC, etc. So, it was a goal for me to actually hold a baby. The 6 monther was there, and the 9 dayer, too. I held the little one. He’s not even 6 pounds, on account of his mom being a smoker (but, even still, my mom smoked for both of us and we were over 9 pounds each) and his head is only as big as a mango or pomegranate, and he’s teeny, tiny and pink and barely fuzzy, like a baby mouse squirming about. I want one. Sigh.
The Bad: I know, know, know that my ILs will be critical of every parenting decision we make. I was biting my tongue as long as I could, when my MIL was accusing my niece of "spoiling the baby" by "holding him so much," I piped up and said "can’t spoil a baby!" and my niece looked a little relieved. It was weird, this would go in the good column, but I think my niece and I sort of made a connection over that. Also, when they were telling her she needed to cut his hair (and she so doesn’t he’s adorable) she was defending herself and they kept at it, and I looked at her and gave her a big smile and said loudly "But! It’s YOUR baby and you can do what YOU want!" Again, a shared look of relief. It also creeped me out to see the 9 dayer get a bottle, and I know that there are reasons why people don’t nurse, etc etc, but I’m just so not USED to that. My friends all nursed, and to see this tiny guy getting a bottle was just, weird. Since I’ve seen that neither of my grandnephews were nursed, I’m already steeling myself up to defend that practice (assuming everything goes as planned, but I’m already pretty dedicated to the idea and I’m not even pregnant yet.) as well as slinging/babywearing/spoiling-by-holding my infant. (interestingly, 48 Hours last night was on when we got home and had a thing about sextuplets, and how co-bedding preemie multiples has been found to steady their breathing, heartrates, and deep sleep that encourages brain development; the human touch is that amazing.)
I told Dave when we left that it creeped me out, that it’s just so different from the parenting I’ve seen, and that we would probably need to defend the way we raise our kids to his family. He totally agreed, even he was creeped out by the 9 dayer being splayed out, unswaddled, on my nephew’s grease and oil stained jeans. (Way to dress for the holidays, like he had no CLEAN jeans? I wonder what his girlfriend’s family thinks of him.) Also creepy was the "bug juice" (AKA colored sugar water) that the 3 year old drinks all the time’ according to the family, and when she finished that, they refilled it with Coke. Straight up, coca cola, full caffeine, full sugar. Ewww.
Also, when we were leaving, my SIL asked if Dave had the ten dollars for the Subway platter (mmm, festive) and he didn’t have cash on him, so he said he’d pay her later. "Oh, are you going to skip out on the bill?" is what she said, and dave just rolled his eyes. What he wanted to say was "Oh, and are you going to pay Gretchen back for the dessert that she made by herself?" It even bugged him that I was the only one who put any effort into the meal.
The Ugly: The sweatshirt and gloves that Dave got from his mom.
But, I held a baby! And Dave held the 6 monther! And neither of us ruined them! It’s a start, right?