I didn’t drive my car for almost a WEEK. And I didn’t leave the house for 5 days, except to go to the Inlaw Eve, and when I finally left, it was so WEIRD. I went out and got my hair cut, a whole ream of hair is gone now, yay. My usual chin-length bob, and I totally love the first few times I shower with a new haircut, and then go to comb it out, and it’s SO quick. YAY.

Anyway, that’s why I left the house the first time. I am such a hermit. I love being home, cozed all up in my not-so-big house. Sigh.

My new pillow! IT ROCKS. I used it last night, and I love it for so many reasons. For one, it gave me better height for the side sleeping, which helped with the middle of th enight heartburn. (I now keep TUMS on my nightstand.) Having that incline is so great. For TWO, Dave commented that it was the first time in MONTHS that i didn’t wake up sneezing, or wake up having to blow my nose at 5 am. I do it in my sleep, basically, but according to Dave, 5 am is the magic hour of nasal clearing for me. I have always been one to keep tissues at the ready, a lifetime of allergies will do that to you,  but it’snice to know I didn’t wake Dave. I wonder if it will happen again.

Dave installed one of the new lights, which looks great, yay, and hopefully number 2 will happen soon. Number 1 wS easy, as it was just replacing an exisitng feature, and numer 2 requires runnign wire and cutting a hole in the ceiling and all that good stuff. yay.

Soooo tired. I could nap on and off forever, I think.

Well, we got the tree de-trimmed and taken out, and swept up the shrapnel left behind. We also forced that cat into the tub for a footbath, as her paw had gotten sogummed up with litter, she clicked as she walked. She tried so hard to get it off herself, but she needed a little assistance before she hurt the pads of her feet.  Washed the dishes, put away most of our gifts, and our living room is back in order.

My parents stopped by, on their way to dinner to make use of a gift certificate my sister and I got them for their anniversary (in August) at Opus, the nicest restaurant in town.  They had a great time, great food, and loved the gift, so that’s nice. They are staying at the Days Inn tonight, and flying out early to Colorado to visit my sister for a few weeks. (Days Inn has park&fly, because we can’t keep a car on the street in winter for more than a night or so.) They’ll be back on the 15th, and then leaving for another trip from February 9-28. Which means I’ll do the tournaments again, only THIS time I’ll be all pregnant and shit, and that will probably field a new raft of comments from the bleachers.

SPeaking of pregnant, my mom told my grandmother about me being so snappy about people touching me, and my grandmother, the epitome of class and good manners, stood up for me! "I have never understood why people do that, and I think it’s incredibly inconsiderate, so you tell her I’m glad she stood up for herself."  Go grandma. I totally win. 🙂

In the end, everything was okay, really. Inlaw Eve had only a few tense moments, like when my SIL asked "How’s Mommy doing?" and I replied "Oh, she and my dad went to the movies." And, when there was a bread debacle — I took five loaves, because last I knew nephew had broken up with his girlfriend and was living at home, but apparently they are reconciling, AND my BIL was there, which has never happened before. Lately, though BIL has been coming to events, and I know it makes my MIL happy to have all her kids in the same room, so i gave them a loaf of bread (they are basically estranged from the family, but I wanted to make them feel welcome anyway, because I know how much it means to my MIL. So I’m not totally evil.) which they appreciated.  But then I was left with a niece and nephew and SIL, and 2 loaves of bread, and I am really proud of myself for explaining to my SIL the dilemma and staving off an inevitable "she gave BROTHER a loaf, but not MY KIDS" round of bitching. Also, because BIL and his wife were there, and my niece’s boyfriend, we had EIGHTEEN PEOPLE in that tiny apartment.  Same SIL and I also had the conversation of how it’s getting too big, and that we’d love to do it here when it comes time (and it’s not like my living room is bigger, but we have the dining room, and kitchen, and people can spread out more) so the plan is to spend the year trying to convince MIL to do it here. We left with a pile of food we will give away, like a can of SlimJims, a giant Hickory Farms gift set (which, I don’t trust cheese that never expires) and I, personally, got a package of those jelly candy fruit slices dipped in sugar, which is just freakin’ HYSTERICAL, because I hate them SO MUCH it’s a running joke between dave and I. Also, jelly/gummy candy makes my throat swell. We did get out annual gift cards, 20 each to Sears and Target. That was not so bad. The junk food will go to Dave’s office, probably, or the food pantry. Dave commented that having a pile of food we won’t eat really brought home how well we DO eat compared to the people in his family. It’s the thought that counts, of course, but I do hate to see my MIL spend her limited resources on beef and cheese. Then again, it’s that or slot machines, I guess.

Christmas Day with my parents was nice. It was a really good christmas, in that we got some really great stuff, but not stuff for stuff’s sake. We got a new mailbox, which makes me ridiculously happy, as our old one was just a rusty black box with an eagle/flag emblem on front. Perfectly serviceable, just ugly.  The true score, though, was from my mom.

She said she’d been looking and looking for a gift for me, and wasn’t finding anything. She also knows I don’t want just STUFF, and on Friday afternoon, they had their business christmas party, and she was telling the group that while she still hadn’t found me a present, she knew she would, and she knew it would be a good one.  After their lunch, she went to Marden’s, where they had just gotten a shipment of furniture from yet another Katrina insurance loss, only this one was from Target. We haven’t had a real coffee table since we moved here. We had a behemoth (that I hated) in the apartment, that now lives in the basement, and we’d used a table bench for the last, oh, year and a half that we’ve been here, with big plans to make our own boomerang shaped table, which never happened.

A while ago, my mom and I had seen a coffee table at Target that I liked, but you know, the boomerang dreams, so I’ve never gotten it. It was that exact table, and end tables, that she saw, that were more than 50% off Target prices. Total score. And while it’s not very 50s, I think it will be great for having kids, to have the baskets to store stuff so we don’t look like a Fisher Prices factory all the time. And the shallow shelf underneath is perfect for our iBooks, which currently live on the floor under the couch when not in use. It’s the perfect size for our living room, and I can’t believe how much more . . . grown up the place looks with real furniture. Yay!

Dave got me seasons one of both The Muppet Show and Fraggle Rock (YAY!), and got the baby a globe (SWOON, I love the man) and a floor gym for the widget, too. I also got a new cookbook (How to Cook Everything) that has been on my wishlist for years.  It also inspired me to, and I am not kidding, finally unpack the Cuisinart I got for our wedding. Which was, yes, more than two years ago.  Quite a machine, the Cuisinart! Ishould use it more often! And now that it lives upstairs, maybe I will.

My mom helped me make dinner, which was a ham, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, a salad, and homemade dinner rolls (Cuisinart! Cuisinart!). My MIL came, rubbed my belly, and lost a hand. Well, not quite, but I did have to be bitchy daughter in law and tell her to not do it. My mom was here, though, which lessened the blow, because my mom said "She was nicer to you than she was to us about that!" I just find it a really intimate thing, and that only my doctor and Dave get to do it. Just like when I breastfeed, I don’t expect anyone else to expect to come up and take a swig. 

Dinner was fine, we had a raspberry pie for dessert, and watched some of "A Christmas Story," and Dave took his mom home.  We watched some Arrested Development, and crashed out.  All in all, a good day. 

Now, we’re just realxing in the rain. My folks went home to help our neighbors move into a new house, and they’ll be back tomorrow, but staying at the Days Inn for park&fly, as they are going to Colorado for two weeks, leaving on Wednesday. (We keep their car when we can, but don’t have enough room with the winter parking ban in effect.) Dave has today, and Thursday and Friday off, and I have off until after MLK day. I need to work on some projects for school, but I’ll hit those tomorrow while Dave is at work.  Today, we’re just enjoying being home and not having to go anywhere. It’s very nice.

Just like last year, I wanted to share one of my favorite holiday songs from my favorite holiday album, "John Denver & the Muppets: A Christmas Together."
We are Agnostics who do Christmas, which is something I’ve struggled
with as I get older, but this song really captures what it is I like
about the season and the holiday.

Well, the bread is baked (six loaves this year) and the dessert is made for Inlaw Eve, and the presents are wrapped and the stockings are stuffed.  The dishes still need to be done, and the laundry needs to be folded, but I am exhausted. Bleh.

My niece came over to help with the bread/learn how to make it, so that was cool. She only stayed through one set of loaves, but she had stuff to do, I understand. My folks are in town, dropped off some food for tomorrow and went out to dinner and a movie while Dave and Ihead over for the annual fire hazard that is Inlaw Eve.  I did feel a little validated though, when my niece started complaining about the space issue without my prompting. In addition to the people of last year, the babies are both now toddlers, and 2 adults are being added to the mix. Oh, and I’m pregnant, so adding to the mass of people. I do NOT know how much longer we can squeeze into that place for this event, and I’ve offered to transition it to our house, but I think my MIL has some independence thing wrapped up in it, as well as some weird thing that the other residents of her seniors apartment building get to see how much her family loves HER.

But seriously, 15 people in a 10×12 room. I’m not kidding.  This year, instead of subway sandwiches, they ordered finger sandwiches. Greeeeaaaatttt. And we still have to pay,AND they still asked me to make dessert, which I did, happily. I mean, finger sandwiches and chips? Sigh. I cannot even begin to imagine NEXT year, with a baby added to the mix. Everyone wondered if the niece would bring her boyfriend, and she told me she didn’t want to subject him to it. I mean, it’s FIFTEEN PEOPLE in a 10×12 room. And it is hotter than hell. Plus, i’m already fearing people coming at me to touch the belly (especially since Dave mentioned to his mom last week that Im feeling movement.) No touching! But since it’s going to be like a subway car at rush hour, there will be no place to back away. UGGGGHHH. Already sweating.

Man, I hope Santa comes while we’re gone and folds my laundry.

What’s thing that you and Dave do that you are most looking forward to sharing with your baby?

This is a good one! A HARD one! Mostly, we look forward to sharing ourselves. We come frm different backgrounds, but have met in the middle in so many ways. We’ve talked about our differences, and our parenting ideals, for years, long before we decided to TTC. When I say ‘ourselves,’ it’s almost too broad, right? But we have such a happy and content relationship, that adding one more to love is exciting. We look forward to sharing our backyard — it gets pitifully little use by us adults, but it was a huge selling point for the house, knowing it would be so great for kids. And for that matter, our neighborhood, which I’m always raving about. I’m glad — we’re both glad — that we were able to get a house in this neighborhood, because of its kid-friendliness. I look forward to walks to the park, to walks to the polling place (voting geek), to walks in City Forest.  We both look forward to sharing our love of reading with the widget, and I look forward to watching Dave share his musical ability, too.

Did you grow up in Presque Isle?  That’s what I imagine when you mention your childhood, but I am probably way off…

Nope! Not "way off," in that I did grow up in the ‘real Maine,’ which is considered anything north of Augusta. (Portland is now known as ‘North Boston,’ for reference.)  I grew up in a town of ~150 people in Washington County, which is the poorest, least educated, least employed, etc etc, county in Maine. My backyard was, literally, miles and miles of forestland.

How did you and Dave meet?

Five years ago, to the day, yesterday, if I remember correctly. (It’s weird how once you get married, your first date-iversary gets lost in the shuffle.) Anyway, it was less than a week before Christmas. Actually, if I dug out a calendar I could figure it out.

How we met. . . . this is a long one! But I’ve never posted the story here, and it’s good in that ‘only in gretchen’s world would it happen THIS way’ kind of way.

Late 2000, I’m working tech support for an ISP, and I work 4pm-1am. I play chess with my (gay) friend and coworker, Kevin, at Denny’s after our shift. I’m making good money, I’ve ducked out of retail and worked myself into a cube farm, but it’s GOOD money. The nightowl life was fun.

ANyway, one night Andy and I are at my apartment on Elm street, and we’re online reading AOL personals. They are a RIOT, and we are totally mocking them, like "No WAY has that woman ever walked barefoot on the beach at sunset!" And they all have these cheesy titles to try to hook you into clicking like "RU4ME?" or "Searching4Romeo" and crap like that. Deserving of BIG BIG eyerolls. In a fit of total mockery, Andy and I create a personal for me. The hook-line is "What the?" and I fill out the form with all kinds of sarcastic answers, like answering "Egypt, or Tuffy Bears [this furniture store near here with ridiculous ads]" for "Where would you like to travel next?" Every answer is made tongue in cheek, and one of my hobbies was listed as "Trying to figure out why [local news personality] got all uptight when he moved from channel 7 to channel 2." (Seriously, his weathercasts on 7 were a RIOT, and as an anchor at 2, he was Mr Boooorriing.)

I end up getting a few emails, which are ridiculed justly my Andy and I (creepy mofos out there, that can’t spell for shit), but then I get one about the local news guy. It’s not a response to my ad, but just a paragraph about the news guy’s ‘going to read to a group of kindergarteners’ outfit of pjs and bunny slippers, and how he’d chase people around for being "BAD BUNNIES!" The email, of course, is from Dave.

Dave had been tipped off at work that some common acquaintance had an ad up, so he was looking for that, but was drawn into my ad because of the title "What the?" He sent the thing about the newsguy, and that was that, he wasn’t looking for a date. But, when i forwarded the reply to Andy, Andy replied right back "Oh my god, I know him. I went to high school with him. You should totally call him."

Me being all, "UH, right, I don’t DO the internet personals, dude," I brushed him off. Andy and Jenne and I went to Dysart’s, and convinced me to email Dave my number. They hadn’t been friends in school, but Andy knew him as a nice guy, and also knew him as a customer at Borders, where Dave went to buy VW magazines and music CDs.  In high school, Dave had been a long-haired bassist dude, who had spent his whole life on the wrong side of the tracks (so, TOTALLY the type I went for in high school) but since Andy had seen him as a customer over the years, he knew he’d not ended up in jail or whatever (like most people from the projects did). Andy and Jenne convinced me, and i sent my number, and he called me, and we talked a few times, and decided to meet. At Marden’s, in the brass monkey aisle.

I was SO nervous, as was Dave, but it was an instant attraction. We hadn’t really TALKED much over the phone or internet, I didn’t want it to be THAT, you know, so when people ask, the short version is "blind date." If not for Andy’s seal of approval, I would have just deleted the email like all the rest.  Weirdly, Dave remembers Andy, but has no idea why he’d vouch for him, but is obviously glad he did.

As we dated, we found that the fact that we hadn’t met was bizarre. We had many friends in intersecting circles, my friend Kasia dated his best friend (and our best man) Casey for a long time, but we never ran into each other. There were several other cases of just-missing each other. We actually figured out that I’d been in one of his history classes in high school, when I’d visited Andy at BHS and tagged along (which? Who does that? Ithought you were supposed to get your friend to skip while you visitied, not get a freaking guest pass and go to some other school’s classes all day . . .  anyway), and my first apartment in Bangor was almost in view of his.  The weirdest close call was discovereed after we’d been dating a while. I went to Amy’s apartment on Kenduskeag to feed her cat, or something, and as I gave him directions, it became clear that it was the same building as one that a friend lived in. When he saw the place, and realized that the stairs were Amy’s, he remembered where he knew me from — he’d seen Amy and I on the stairs one day (smoking, no doubt) when he’d gone to Jason’s to drop something off, and as he left, he remembered thinking "wow, she’s beautiful, I wish I could get to know her."

We met just before Christmas of 2000, we moved in together in November of 2001, we were married on October of 2003, and we bought our house in May of 2004, and in May 2006, we’ll become parents together.

Now, if you had told me that I would marry someone who responded to an AOL personal ad, I would have laughed in your face. That is NOT how things happen for me, and to admit it would be the most embarrassing thing ever. But, that’s how it happened. Lots of little twists of fate, strange turns of events, some leaps of faith, and a brass monkey that sits on the shelf in the baby’s room now, waiting to see the next phase happen.

What sort of AmeriCorps job did you have?

I served with a statewide technology initiative, called Project GOALS: Go Online At Libraries and Schools.  I had an office in the basement of the Bangor Public Library, and worked at BPL and other local libraries to teach librarians, library patrons, teachers, and parents of K-12 students how best to use computers and the internet.  That was the mission statement, in reality I worked with adult patrons almost exclusively, and many of them were senior citizens. I also did other things, like work on a user-friendly curriculum/manual that is still probably stashed somewhere in libraries around the state.  It was a lifechanging event in many ways, for one I met Annemarie (waves! Hi! Got your holiday card! She’s sooo big now!!!), and for two, I realized that I had a unique ability to translate computers and the internet to people who’d never before been able to understand them.  It was in Americorps that I decided to pursue Instructional Technology as a career, and here I am, more than half cone with my M. Ed. I would’ve done it another year, but funding for Americorps was cut post-9/11, and our program was one that disappeared completely.

Do you play a musical instrument?

I did. Maybe I still could? I can’t imagine even trying now. From 5th grade until 12th grade, I played clarinet in the band. I switched to bass clarinet in 8th grade? 9th? and played that for the last half of my school band career. I have a bass clarinet at my parents house, but I haven’t opened the case in probably 10 years.

Are you a fast reader?

Oh man, am I ever. I go through spurts, where I might read a book a day, and then go for a while without reading a novel all at once. I can’t think of a book I’ve picked up recently and not finished — even if I don’t like it, I can’t not finish it. When I worked at Borders, they had a staff book loan program, where basically all of Borders was my library. In Phoenix, I worked there nights, and worked days at an airline ticketing agency, a phone job. I read 2 books a day between calls at the day job.  I was actually wondering if I read more or less now, if I were to include my online reading. I read the boards at IM of course, and blogs, and TWoP recaps, and I wonder if my words-per-day is about the same as when I read a book a day.  I can also read upside down and backwards, and can usually do the daily Jumble in under 2 minutes. (It would be less, but I have to send my brain to the land of bad puns to solve the final joke.  The individual words are a snap for me, though.) Words and my brain get along famously.

would you *ever* move out of maine? say the perfect combination of job,
money and circumstances arose someplace out of state – would you do it?

Oh man, that’s so hard.  I LOVE my city, my neighborhood, my house. I like being close to my family, but not too close. We have a great quality of life here, and it’s pretty affordable, too. Dave has the best job he could get here, literally, he only got it because his predecessor died. It’s a company you don’t leave without a damn good reason.  So, it would have to be a really, really compelling reason. I mean, especially with the widget coming — I don’t think I’d move back to Phoenix for any reason. I don’t think I could ever live in the south, either. I don’t know where I could live — Madison, WI maybe? But if I was going there, why would I leave here?

what are some baby names you like?

Hmmm. This one is from someone I know in real life, well, I’ve met a lot of you, but mainegirl and I went to high school together. I have been hedging on names with IRL people, because what tends to happen, in my experience, is you say "oh, we’re thinking about Esmerelda!" and the person says "oh, I went to middle school with an Esmerelda who was as big as a mack truck and had herpes in her ears."  Then, the person who likes Esmerelda can’t get the image out of their mind, you know? BUT, if you have the baby and say "Meet Esmerelda!" they go "OOOOOOHHH!! CUTE BABBYYY!" and the name takes on a new meaning for that person.  I also am irrationally put off by people who refer to their unborn baby by their name before they are born, like "Oh, Esmerelday and I are going to the grocery store now" or whatever. Maybe it stems from my miscarriage, or something, but it’s weird. I’ve mentioned names that we like, that are front runners, on IM, but it feels weird to mention them here. SO. I will say that since the widget will be a MyLast, we’re looking for names that are Germanic or Scandinavian in origin. We like names that are strong and beautiful, and not too popular. However, that doesn’t mean that we are going to make them up by tossing in some unnecessary umlauts and such.

Now, it’s not that I think that mainegirl would  put up her nose at our frontrunner name choices, or do anything rude or think any less of me because of the names we picked out (she’s far too classy), but since my parents and ILs don’t even know what we’re working on, it feels weird to post it here. But! If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to offer them up! While we have front runners, nothing is ever set in stone. After all, I was going to be an Erica until oh, about 10 minutes after I was born, when my parents realized I was just NOT an Erica. Other than that, I’ll let you know our name choices in May. By Memorial Day at the latest. 😉

Well, my eyes have gone down, and apparently it was in indicator of some sinus thing that I have now. I swear, my pregnancy has been pretty easy, knock on wood, except for this sudden vulnerability in my immune system. I’ve not puked once, yay, but I’ve gone through WAY more kleenx than I normally would.  Anyway.  Despite feeling like ass, I hauled out to visit my old school today.

It was cool, I guess. I went to my coteacher’s room, and was saddened by the wall that was erected to make our big classroom 2 separate rooms. She had seventh graders this morning, so not kids I ever taught (a few I had in science club) but they knew who I was. An 8th grader walked by, just sort of zoning out and shuffling along checking out what was going on in other rooms, and he saw me and instantly brightened up. "Mrs. S******!" He ran in, gave me a big hug, and ran out.  About 10 seconds later, all of my old kids came streaming in to give me hugs and say hi and all of that.  I had to tell them I’d be there for the rest of the day (it was only a half-day, due to vacation starting) and I’d see them at break, because Deb’s class WAS doing something. Still, though, it was pretty cool.

I was also told by EVERYONE that I should be thankful to be gone. Shit has gone even MORE downhill there, the politics have gotten crazy, everything is nuts.  Just — eek. So glad I’m gone.  I talked up my job to anyone who asked, not so much to brag to other teachers, but in some vengeful little way, hopingit would get to the admins who are so anti-everything-I-stand-for, basically. So, lots of "oh, I’m working with the college of ed to help faculty integrate the laptops into their instruction, and I’m off til MLK, so the hours are GREAT" even though 80 percent of my job is spent reading blogs, IM, or TWoP recaps and IMing with people.  (Which is even more cake of a ‘job,’ but doesn’t quite capture the amazingness that is ME, you know?)

It was good, though, to know that I was in a better place for my future now than I was when I was there. It was nice to be remembered by my kids, too. And good to see  my old coworkers.  Tomorrow, Deb and I are going to go to Target to finish up our shopping, and to get lunch, so I’m sure I’ll be able to get the REAL scoop on all that was alluded to in the hallway conversations of today. Should be fun, regardless.

Last call for questions! I will answer them in tomorrow’s post.

My street is alllll retired. I’m serious. There are NO kids here. Yet.  But wheni was invited to a cookie swap across the street, I really wanted to go, because it’s good to know the neighbors, especially once you have kids. There were christmas sweaters, and i was the youngest by at least 20 years, but I’m glad I went.

Of course, though, this is the morning where I woke up with two eyes swollen shut, that some allergy meds and a tylenol seemed to lessen, but I still went there looking like I had two shiners. Dave was concerned that it looked like I was being beaten, so I said "Look, Sylvia knows I’m pregnant, so she’ll mention it in front of other people, and then they will say ‘oh, congratulations! How are you feeling?’ because that’s what EVERYONE SAYS, right? And I’ll say, ‘oh, pretty good, just more sensitive to my allergies and I’ll point at my eyes." Great plan, because that IS what everyone says, then follows with "when are you due/do you know what you’re having/ do you have names picked out?" Of course, TODAY, no one asked me how i was feeling. I guess since I made it down the glass slick driveway, street and front walk balancing a plate of fudge, I must be feeling okay.

Anyway, it was cute. Charlene, down the street, who’s around 75 and lived on the street forEVER, has been experiencing prank phone calls late at night!  Pam’s grandson is afraid of the planes that fly over when he visits. Sylvia was glad that Charlene’s husband had taken her advice and gone to Dr Z for the epidural shots for the sciatica. They all love the papergirl, and left her a good tip this year. It was that kind of afternoon.

But I also found out that Charlene went to teacher’s college with two of my neighbors back home, the queen bees of the historical society, and one of whom was my 1st grade teacher and commuted with my mom for years.  Pam is retired from teaching now, but works for the uni supervising student teachers, and knows Marilyn (my mentor that I rave about here) from both careers. And when I talked about Dave finding the collection of vintage game cards in the heat intake, Charlene and Sylvia both laughed and said "oh, that would have been Billy!"

It’s one of THOSE neighborhoods. I love it. They are all excited that a baby is coming to the street ("Now that the kids are gone, everyone talks about their dogs") and they all offered to babysit.  They talked about their pregnancies and grandchildren and yeah, their dogs, and sipped coffee out of christmas-themed mugs and nibbled on christmas-themed cookies that were served on christmas-themed plates. I was there for more than 2 hours, came home and went to school to take a final, and am now home, cozied up in the house where Billy once pushed playing cards into the vent, and where Sandra planted the perennials, and where George put in the woodstove.

We hope to stay here for a long time, so maybe I’ll be the one inviting the new girl over for cookies, and talking about Charlene, and Pam, and Sylvia.  But for now, it’s just a nice place to live.

Any more questions for me? Come on, don’t be shy! I’ll answer them in a future post.