Today was good. We got up early, got ourselves to Mother Goose, and
Ingrid loved it (as always) and I saw someone from my prenatal aqua
class, and another mom took my number and email address.  From there,
we went to LaLeche League. Now, I debated it LONG and HARD, especially
while waiting for a modular home to pass so I could cross over to High
Street to get there, because I was really bummed by my first meeting. I
swear to god, did someone like, tip off LLL and pass my comments on to
the regional director, or what? It was weirdly totally different. For
one, no goddamn word find. For two, NO mention of "Artificial feeding,"
just "bottle feeding," and for three, the leader brought SLINGS to
show, when last time, everyone seemed amazed by my KKAFP. Seriously, it
was totally different, and enough to make me feel like LLL Henchmen had
been contacted.

So, that was good, and the leader started showing
off her various slings — all of them ring slings, and all of them
hideous. Well, one was a Maya, so that wasn’t so bad, but the HEAVILY
PADDED, FLEECE LINED, AMERICAN FLAG ring sling was awful. Just awful.
And it so happened that I had Ingrid all wrapped up in the
Storchenwiege, because I knew she’d be tired after storytime, and
wrap-naps are easy on her. I wrapped her when we arrived, and one of
the women said "wow, that’s a lot of fabric!" and i just smiled and
said "yeah, but it gets eaten up really quickly" and wrapped her up.
Then she started saying that she couldn’t use a sling with her baby
anymore, because he was so big (at 7months) and I was biting my tongue.
Finally, I said "have you tried a two-shouldered carrier? it helps
spread the weight…and, actually, let me go to my car."

I
brought in my sling-bag, and took over the LLL leader’s display of
Crimes Against RingSlings, and pulled out the KKAFP, and the meitai,
and my other pouch… and then Ingrid woke up, so I handed her off to
the leader, unwrapped, and showed the mom with the ‘too-big’ baby how
to wrap up her guy, and she was absolutely STUNNED at how comfortable
it was. STUNNED. She left with links to TBW and my website and
mamatoto, and damn if it didn’t feel GOOD to have that babywearing
advocacy moment. Yeah, it’s a lot of fabric. But it is SO. COMFORTABLE.

ANyway.
After that we came home, had lunch with dave, etc etc and I went to
class. My weekly class that meets, that isn’t practicum, is a middle
level course. The prof is really well-known guy in the field of middle
level, which means nothing to most of you, but he’s probably in the top
10 of the Middle Level Elite. Super nice guy, too.

Class is
going well, he really loves my responses, and I keep joking about how
jaded I am (which, technically, aint a joke…) but with every class, I
sort of…. miss middle school. For instance, today we were talking
about wellness education, and one guy showed his kids Supersize Me,
which reminded me of my fat/sugar lesson, so I described it quickly
"… and we measured out grams of crisco and grams of sugar for the
kids’ favorite snack foods, and then stapled it to the wall…" which
made everyone crack up, because 2/3 of the way into the semester,
apparently, I am the only one who would staple baggies of fat to the
wall.

After class, the prof stopped me and said "we really need
to talk… to find out what happens at the end of the semester." I
laughed and said, "I told you! I’m going to be the best ed tech ever!"
"well, that’s fine, but really — you need to be out there, working
with middle schoolers. You really do."

That? was cool. The more I
hear other people talk about their experiences and stuff, the more i
realize that dammit, I AM a good teacher. I WAS a good teacher. I
really was.  Even now — a student in the class now teaches in MY old
classroom, and she was talking about teaching a particular unit, and I
told her what worked for me, and she loved it. ("Don’t tell Principal!
He’d die if he knew I was still influencing that wing.") I’m feeling
like, maybe, maybe, I could do… something… in a school again.

And
on top of that, our friends are back from their honeymoon, saw the pics
online, and the wife cried and said "I don’t care what the real
pictures look like, I LOVE these ones."  Dave dropped off their real
gift after work, and they came by an hour later with a silk elephant
from Thailand for Ingrid (with the comment "this isn’t really a toy,
but more something you… have") and $100 for us, that Dave tried to
refuse, but they insisted he keep because of all we’d done for them.

So,
to recap: storytime rocked, I spread the wrap love, major props from
important ML guy, made a bride cry with my pics, OH and?

Dreamhost had backups and my website is totally fixed now.

KICKASS DAY.

Today was good. We got up early, got ourselves to Mother Goose, and Ingrid loved it (as always) and I saw someone from my prenatal aqua class, and another mom took my number and email address.  From there, we went to LaLeche League. Now, I debated it LONG and HARD, especially while waiting for a modular home to pass so I could cross over to High Street to get there, because I was really bummed by my first meeting. I swear to god, did someone like, tip off LLL and pass my comments on to the regional director, or what? It was weirdly totally different. For one, no goddamn word find. For two, NO mention of "Artificial feeding," just "bottle feeding," and for three, the leader brought SLINGS to show, when last time, everyone seemed amazed by my KKAFP. Seriously, it was totally different, and enough to make me feel like LLL Henchmen had been contacted.

So, that was good, and the leader started showing off her various slings — all of them ring slings, and all of them hideous. Well, one was a Maya, so that wasn’t so bad, but the HEAVILY PADDED, FLEECE LINED, AMERICAN FLAG ring sling was awful. Just awful. And it so happened that I had Ingrid all wrapped up in the Storchenwiege, because I knew she’d be tired after storytime, and wrap-naps are easy on her. I wrapped her when we arrived, and one of the women said "wow, that’s a lot of fabric!" and i just smiled and said "yeah, but it gets eaten up really quickly" and wrapped her up. Then she started saying that she couldn’t use a sling with her baby anymore, because he was so big (at 7months) and I was biting my tongue. Finally, I said "have you tried a two-shouldered carrier? it helps spread the weight…and, actually, let me go to my car."

I brought in my sling-bag, and took over the LLL leader’s display of Crimes Against RingSlings, and pulled out the KKAFP, and the meitai, and my other pouch… and then Ingrid woke up, so I handed her off to the leader, unwrapped, and showed the mom with the ‘too-big’ baby how to wrap up her guy, and she was absolutely STUNNED at how comfortable it was. STUNNED. She left with links to TBW and my website and mamatoto, and damn if it didn’t feel GOOD to have that babywearing advocacy moment. Yeah, it’s a lot of fabric. But it is SO. COMFORTABLE.

ANyway. After that we came home, had lunch with dave, etc etc and I went to class. My weekly class that meets, that isn’t practicum, is a middle level course. The prof is really well-known guy in the field of middle level, which means nothing to most of you, but he’s probably in the top 10 of the Middle Level Elite. Super nice guy, too.

Class is going well, he really loves my responses, and I keep joking about how jaded I am (which, technically, aint a joke…) but with every class, I sort of…. miss middle school. For instance, today we were talking about wellness education, and one guy showed his kids Supersize Me, which reminded me of my fat/sugar lesson, so I described it quickly "… and we measured out grams of crisco and grams of sugar for the kids’ favorite snack foods, and then stapled it to the wall…" which made everyone crack up, because 2/3 of the way into the semester, apparently, I am the only one who would staple baggies of fat to the wall.

After class, the prof stopped me and said "we really need to talk… to find out what happens at the end of the semester." I laughed and said, "I told you! I’m going to be the best ed tech ever!" "well, that’s fine, but really — you need to be out there, working with middle schoolers. You really do."

That? was cool. The more I hear other people talk about their experiences and stuff, the more i realize that dammit, I AM a good teacher. I WAS a good teacher. I really was.  Even now — a student in the class now teaches in MY old classroom, and she was talking about teaching a particular unit, and I told her what worked for me, and she loved it. ("Don’t tell Principal! He’d die if he knew I was still influencing that wing.") I’m feeling like, maybe, maybe, I could do… something… in a school again.

And on top of that, our friends are back from their honeymoon, saw the pics online, and the wife cried and said "I don’t care what the real pictures look like, I LOVE these ones."  Dave dropped off their real gift after work, and they came by an hour later with a silk elephant from Thailand for Ingrid (with the comment "this isn’t really a toy, but more something you… have") and $100 for us, that Dave tried to refuse, but they insisted he keep because of all we’d done for them.

So, to recap: storytime rocked, I spread the wrap love, major props from important ML guy, made a bride cry with my pics, OH and?

Dreamhost had backups and my website is totally fixed now.

KICKASS DAY.

Today was good. We got up early, got ourselves to Mother Goose, and Ingrid loved it (as always) and I saw someone from my prenatal aqua class, and another mom took my number and email address.  From there, we went to LaLeche League. Now, I debated it LONG and HARD, especially while waiting for a modular home to pass so I could cross over to High Street to get there, because I was really bummed by my first meeting. I swear to god, did someone like, tip off LLL and pass my comments on to the regional director, or what? It was weirdly totally different. For one, no goddamn word find. For two, NO mention of "Artificial feeding," just "bottle feeding," and for three, the leader brought SLINGS to show, when last time, everyone seemed amazed by my KKAFP. Seriously, it was totally different, and enough to make me feel like LLL Henchmen had been contacted.

So, that was good, and the leader started showing off her various slings — all of them ring slings, and all of them hideous. Well, one was a Maya, so that wasn’t so bad, but the HEAVILY PADDED, FLEECE LINED, AMERICAN FLAG ring sling was awful. Just awful. And it so happened that I had Ingrid all wrapped up in the Storchenwiege, because I knew she’d be tired after storytime, and wrap-naps are easy on her. I wrapped her when we arrived, and one of the women said "wow, that’s a lot of fabric!" and i just smiled and said "yeah, but it gets eaten up really quickly" and wrapped her up. Then she started saying that she couldn’t use a sling with her baby anymore, because he was so big (at 7months) and I was biting my tongue. Finally, I said "have you tried a two-shouldered carrier? it helps spread the weight…and, actually, let me go to my car."

I brought in my sling-bag, and took over the LLL leader’s display of Crimes Against RingSlings, and pulled out the KKAFP, and the meitai, and my other pouch… and then Ingrid woke up, so I handed her off to the leader, unwrapped, and showed the mom with the ‘too-big’ baby how to wrap up her guy, and she was absolutely STUNNED at how comfortable it was. STUNNED. She left with links to TBW and my website and mamatoto, and damn if it didn’t feel GOOD to have that babywearing advocacy moment. Yeah, it’s a lot of fabric. But it is SO. COMFORTABLE.

ANyway. After that we came home, had lunch with dave, etc etc and I went to class. My weekly class that meets, that isn’t practicum, is a middle level course. The prof is really well-known guy in the field of middle level, which means nothing to most of you, but he’s probably in the top 10 of the Middle Level Elite. Super nice guy, too.

Class is going well, he really loves my responses, and I keep joking about how jaded I am (which, technically, aint a joke…) but with every class, I sort of…. miss middle school. For instance, today we were talking about wellness education, and one guy showed his kids Supersize Me, which reminded me of my fat/sugar lesson, so I described it quickly "… and we measured out grams of crisco and grams of sugar for the kids’ favorite snack foods, and then stapled it to the wall…" which made everyone crack up, because 2/3 of the way into the semester, apparently, I am the only one who would staple baggies of fat to the wall.

After class, the prof stopped me and said "we really need to talk… to find out what happens at the end of the semester." I laughed and said, "I told you! I’m going to be the best ed tech ever!" "well, that’s fine, but really — you need to be out there, working with middle schoolers. You really do."

That? was cool. The more I hear other people talk about their experiences and stuff, the more i realize that dammit, I AM a good teacher. I WAS a good teacher. I really was.  Even now — a student in the class now teaches in MY old classroom, and she was talking about teaching a particular unit, and I told her what worked for me, and she loved it. ("Don’t tell Principal! He’d die if he knew I was still influencing that wing.") I’m feeling like, maybe, maybe, I could do… something… in a school again.

And on top of that, our friends are back from their honeymoon, saw the pics online, and the wife cried and said "I don’t care what the real pictures look like, I LOVE these ones."  Dave dropped off their real gift after work, and they came by an hour later with a silk elephant from Thailand for Ingrid (with the comment "this isn’t really a toy, but more something you… have") and $100 for us, that Dave tried to refuse, but they insisted he keep because of all we’d done for them.

So, to recap: storytime rocked, I spread the wrap love, major props from important ML guy, made a bride cry with my pics, OH and?

Dreamhost had backups and my website is totally fixed now.

KICKASS DAY.

the dream that I didn’t want to wake up from this morning involved a secret multi-million dollar trust fund in Ingrid’s name, that then led to discovering a similar trust find in my own name.

This is what you get when you are worrying about career, money, etc, the same week that Dr Izzie Stephens clips an 8.7 mil check to the fridge to ponder it for a while. Sigh.

1. I bought the damn Metro bag, in peacock blue/chartreuse/peacock blue. Dave just about choked at the price, but that’s okay, since I worked all week with this carrot ahead of me, and I really should have a bag for my new job, I’ve discovered — how quickly one gets used to having their own designated space, as I have for the last oh, five years? No office or desk means portable workplace means NEW DAMN BAG. And so it is. FWIW, it holds my camera, my diapering ziploc (which will likely be inserted as necessary, tho I may put one diaper in the zipper pocket as backup backup, my wallet, my headphone thingies, etc, just fine. It will also hold a water bottle, but not a fat Nalgene, but I can get that through work or whatever.

2.  I. Finished. My. Damn. Paper. Signed, sealed, delivered. That’s one more class wrapped up; I justneed to do my portfolio and a little paper for that class, and I am done with uh, the Spring semester. But, the paper that really hung over me all this time is DONE. D-O-N-E DONE.

Training is over, I rocked, it was mostly a boring PITA, but it worked out. I got better with pumping each day (go, fenugreek!) and Ingrid never had formula, and I think this will be a good work situation for the next few months overall. I mean, I get a discount on a new Boat&Tote, so that’s cool. Hee. (Really, I do want one, so that I can carry my pump and stuff to work, or my uni stuff to class, or whatever. The Metro is my daily bag, and I figure the B&T will be the big turtle-shell that everything ELSE gets shoved into, kwim?)

The quick n’ dirty:

I cried, on the way home
Ingrid didn’t need formula
Training is lame
I got in trouble

OMG, corporate training just sucks, if you’re the trainee. And, as Jeanne said "have half a brain." I arrived, got my badge and key thing, and took a seat in the trianing room. Oh, we watched corporate videos, the history of the company, the ‘core values’ or ‘guiding principles’ or some thing like that, and we learned how to — I swear to god — create a password. Oh, and how to use CTRL-ALT-DEL, too. Erm, yeah.

We learned the basics of the ordering system, and seriously, show me how to use the phone and I’ll go do this job right now. But, no, we have 3.5 more days of training to make sure the lowest common denominator (who, incidentally, is my partner) gets it, too. Can’t I CLEP out of this?

One of our things was to go over how to enter an address, and then we had to do this online quiz of five questions, and (of course) I raced through it, 100% whatever, so I started poking around the intranet (where these quizzes live) and a trainer rushes up and is all "OH NO! You’re lost, you’re at MONOGRAMMING!" and I said "No, I’m not lost, I just finished the quiz and thought I’d look around" and she said "No, you need to be at the quiz." Whatever. So I stared at the last page of the quiz for ten minutes, while people debated how to abbreviate Suite. OMG, LAME.

And, of course, OF COURSE, I ended up having to show the trainers how to override the auto address thing. The question (which was totally valid) was about when towns share a zip code. Around here, one zipcode is shared by four towns, mine included, and several of the same roads run through those towns, so there is lots of potential for fucking up. ANyway, the system puts in the town when you enter the zip, and the trainers both didn’t understand the issue, and didn’t know how to change it, so I explained both. What a know-it-all.

My LCD partner was like "wow, you’re good at this!" when we were doing practice stuff, and she was so totally not, but I pulled out my teacher cap and helped her along. The trainers didn’t have me do fake orders, just help her by being the fake order customer. It wasn’t that bad, if anything, it really had me TEACHING again, and I realized what a good educator I can be, and I had all of the mixed emotions that that realization always brings me.  She was doing  okay by the end, but yeah. That was my training experience.

Oh, and pumping! The whole NYT article about pumping for people who aren’t professionals was on my mind all night. I can pump, and that’s great — they have a "first aid room" with a screen, and a cot/exam table thing, and an outlet for when my new parts get here, so that’s good. But, I didn’t get to eat DINNER because I’d foolishly brought a Lean Cuisine, and the microwaves were at one end of the building, and i was at the other. And the first aid room is right off of the call floor, with frosted glass windows, but still, I kind of felt on display a bit, trudging over there to mysteriously hang out for half an hour. My ‘coach,’ (LAME) was all "Oh, when you need to use this, tell the floor person, and they’ll be dicsreet, not "GUESS WHAT GRETCHEN’s DOING IN THERE!" hehehe…" Which totally tells me that she’s not dealt with the situation much, eh? Like, oh, thanks, I hadn’t worried about all y’all talking about my GIANT LACTATING BREASTS on the call floor. In that half hour, too, I only got 2 oz, which I was devastated by. When I got home, I got 2 more, and Ingrid had only taken 6 of the 8oz here, so I think we’ll make it another night. I hope that when the bigger horns come, it is more comfortable, too.

And, at the end of the night, I got in my car and cried the whole way home, and for a while after.  I mean, I still think this is a great opportunity for us (as a family) to bring in a little money, to give Dave some real independence with Ingrid, to stock up with the company discount while we can… just this TRAINING period blows in a million different ways. I went to sleep last night reminding myself that it’s only three more long nights (apparently, the last night of training is a half-day.Half-night, whatever, only 4 hours and Ill be home at 8:30.) and then I’m good to go. Because I am NOT the LCD, I figure I have a good chance of moving up in some way, and this is only temporary, anyway.

So, yeah, that was my night. Crying, invisible eye-rolling, and checking out the forbidden monogramming area. Sweet.

Really! I’ve just been preoccupied or something. Well, I wanted to upload pics, and I need to do a monthly update on Ingrid, and the pressure, well, I ended up doing nothing. ANyway. That’ll come soon. This is tagged career, for general reasons.

First, my LLBean job starts in like, what, 10 days? 9? And I’m sort of freaking. Not about the job, christ, I could do it in my sleep, I’m sure, but about the whole job+family thing. I’m never going to see Dave again, it feels like, between my evening job and one weekly night class, and a second class that meets every few weeks.  Tomorrow, the sitter comes for the first intro to Ingrid, and I’m not worried about the sitter — she’s totally responsible, a pro babysitter, and I have total trust in her — but I’m worried that Ingrid is going to freak out at the STRANGER so much, that the sitter says "um, pass."  Ingrid is great in my arms, when checking out other people, she smiles and interacts and all, but when they TAKE her, she freaks right the fuck out. We’ve been practicing, whenever we can, with her & ‘strangers.’ Today it was my parents, and she cried and shrieked and made me feel like shit, but FUCK, this is NOT an option, for me to never work again. Especially since my car has a leak between the fuel-filling neck and the tank, and goes in tomorrow to get checked out, and hopefully, fixed. I have to work. I’ve been UNBELIEVABLY lucky to have had almost four months with Ingrid, when the standard in the US is six freaking WEEKS, and I know that, but FUCK, it’s hard. Anyway.

So, yeah, I have this evening job, and night classes, and I’ll never see Dave again, but it means Ingrid isn’t in childcare. (The sitter is for special occasions, and hopefully, a weekly appointment so that I can work on school stuff, etc, not a daily thing) Then a job is advertised at the 4-5 school 2 blocks from here, an ed tech position for someone to work with ‘computer assisted instruction.’ I’ve always joked that I’d make a kick ass ed tech, and that it would be a GREAT job — hourly, no assessment bullshit, no parents to call — affecting kids’ lives, without the responsibility a teacher has, that makes their salary less valuable. (It might not make sense, unless you’ve ever worked in a school system.) Anyway, I see the job and shrug it off, but then think "Well, hmm, what DO ET-IIIs make, anyway, at that school?" and because I am a supergenius and know how to find that out, I’m boggled to see that HOLY CRAP, it’s about twice what I thought they made.

But, that would require all day childcare. And it starts in 10, 9? days, the same as the LLBean job. And I have no all-day childcare, and do I really want to work all day? But, all day for an ed-tech means about 9-3. Academic calendar. FUCK.

I keep seeing these jobs, there’s one for a part time teacher at the Challenger center, which is a place I LOVE, and is ALSO right around the corner, literally, like the Bean job and the ET-III job, just different corners.  And none of them feel right, even though I’m confident I could get either of the other two, because of Ingrid.  I just hope that in a year, that there are jobs like these still popping up: local, related to my degree, and that pay enough to make it worth it.  Right now, I just feel like I’m trying to pick the right direction — Bean means a huge cut in family time, but no childcare, and a nice discount, and an easier pumping situation, because Ingrid nurses maybe once in the hours that my Bean schedule will be, I’ll only need to pump once. A day job would mean needing more pumping time, and needing to find a time/place to do it, which would be HARD in a school setting. (Maybe easier for an ET, though? Hm.) Regardless, I’m not applying, because this isn’t the right time, and oh, right, try to find infant childcare with a week’s notice (and I’m ON all the lists, and have been since I got two lines, because it’s a whole lot easier to refuse a spot than find one… and I have no CLUE how one finds a decent in-home provider) but, yeah. I hope there’s something good at the end of all this, career-wise.

Okay, so I ordered a slingset pouch and support from the clearance section. (And um, am trying to negotiate a deal for a second pouch, thereby procuring a "whole shebang" set for like, 40 bucks less than retail. At least i can say my sling habit is satiated with used and/or clearance slings, even the custom was on sale. Right?)

AND, I don’t feel AS bad, because I have a job interview to schedule with your favorite Maine outdoor retailer, the Double L to the Bean, if you know what I mean.  I did the online app the other night, after hearing that they offer evening training hours for evening employees (which is what I’d be), I was pretty stoked. Google Maps puts itat 2 miles from my house, but that’s taking the main roads, and not the shortcuts, so literally, more like 1.5, and only 2 lights away. REALLY DAMN CLOSE. That’s cool for me.  They pay a great wage, there’s a 40% discount, and while it’s seasonal, there’s opportunity to become regular part-time.  (Or more, I would kick six kinds of ass as a trainer for them, I just know it.) I’m very excited about that.  Job interview means less sling-guilt.

But, I’m also supposed to shoot at a wedding on July 2 (also my birthday, yay 31!) but it’s a Sunday. And the wedding is back home. But then an hour from my parents house back home, and Dave was going to come with us and he and my mom were going to be on Ingrid duty, but it turns out Dave has to work on the 3rd (and then the 4th is off) so it would mean either my mom having Ing for a whole day, or dave driving us back at like, 10pm. Neither sounds good, and we both don’t think it would be in anyone’s best interests to have my mom solo for 8 hours, for the first time Ing is away from mama. I’m pumping, and she will take a bottle, but her fussy hour (anywhere from 4-9pm) can be taxing, and it’s a thousand times easier to share that with someone.   I WANT to do the wedding, Dave wants the income (of course, see Biggest Fear number 2), but damn, that will be way rough. The other wedding I’m doing is HERE, so at least the babe would have all of her own stuff handy, and it would be Dave and my mom on duty, and then I’m just a half hour away if all hell breaks loose.

The clients aren’t expecting me, it’s more of a "let’s try this out" kind of thing, where my dad does the traditional wedding stuff, and I float around and take pictures of random stuff, more photojournalistic stuff, to see how that goes over. If I’m NOT there,no one will know the difference. If I AM there, they get lots of extra (hopefully) cool shots. I explained the situation to my mom, and we’re going to try to work SOMETHING out, if I can even go for part of the wedding on the 2nd, just to see how it goes, and she and Dave maybe hang out in the town where the weddingis, and then Dave and I take the babe and go home at a reasonable hour, but I’ve still done something. That might work.

The job I’m interviewing for is not only reallllly close to home, but also evening hours (so Dave can handle that) and training doesn’t start til Mid-July, when many mamas are already back to work full-time, because we are not Canada. I think that that would be a fairly decent blend of income and not needing childcare.  Also, hello, it’s taking phone orders from a catalog, so my brain won’t be ripped in two every day, most likely. Banal, part-time, decent wage, superclose to home, evening job. (That has a ‘first aid room’ that I bet 5 bucks is where I get to pump, too.) I could swing that, I think. And hell, if I can’t? I quit! It’s not the end of the world if I quit a customer service rep job, you know? We’ll figure it out.

Everything will work out. I’ve been saying that since day one. Everything will work out. I justknow it. And having the proper slings for the proper occasions is just part of that process. RIght?

And so, there’s another job I’ve been tipped off to. DAMMIT.

The pros:

• If I were EVER to work in a school again, this would be the ONLY position I’d take.
• It’s in the Middlest of Middle schools (waves to mainegirl: RB)
• It’s in THE school that Marilyn has said, since I’ve known her, that I would LOVE and would love me
• It’s an academic year schedule
• The district is the 2nd or 3rd highest paying in the area. 
• I have connections & references familiar with the school: Marilyn and at least one classmate

The cons:

• It’s a school job. I’d be making just 5k more a year than I did my last year teaching.
• It starts in September.
• Which means infant daycare, which is ~ $500 a month, so after that, it’s less than what I would be making compared to my last teaching salary.
• 4 months seems so sooooon to leave the baby for full time work. Because it’s a school job, there is no option for flex time or working from home; it would be 5 days a week. Childcare would have to be paid even on the weeks I didn’t work, and I don’t even KNOW how summer vacation would work, but I would imagine I’d have to pay to keep whatever spot I had in childcare.
• Schools seem to be really hard for pumping purposes. You don’t have an office, you don’t have a lunch hour, or the ability to take 20-30 minutes to find a private space to pump. That’s really, really important to me.

I guess I just wish it was a year from now, I feel like at a year I’d be able to not pump, childcare would be less expensive and easier to find, I will know what motherhood has done to me and my brain to know if I’d want to even have this job. I mean, another district just axed their tech people, who are really great at what they do, and have the experience already, so who knows if I’d even GET IT. But this would be such an easy decision if it were A YEAR FROM NOW. Just like the last job that I was tipped off to, if it had been even 6 months later, I would have applied. (That one was doing prof dev with teachers, through a private company, so it would have certainly meant starting before September, and running inservices over the summer…. but that one was part time/flex and I probably could have found a private room to pump in.) 

I know people do it, all of it, all the time. There are lots of people that have to take their babies to childcare at 6weeks, 16 weeks should be Just Fine, right? But I just don’t know how it would work for US.

I mean, I need to do my resume anyway, for a class, so I might as well send it in, interview, see how it goes. Finishing my degree in the fall would be fine, the practicum is usually done concurrent with a teaching job ANYWAY, I’m sort of an odd duck that I’ll need a placement.  The other class is an evening class, so it’s not a concern. I would finish my degree.  Anyway. I just wish it was a YEAR from now! Sigh.

Anyone want to help a grad student out? I wanted to have more responses than those from just my classmates, so I’ve posted this at ADL as well. It’s only 16 questions. Feel free to pass on the link or post it in your own internet communities, or whatever. It’s totally confidential. Thanks!

I’m getting my M. Ed in Instructional Technology, and my research topic for my seminar class this semester is about the effect of internet community on local community.  To that end, I’ve created a simple poll, and am looking for people to take a few minutes to answer the questions about their internet social lives and real-life social lives. All responses are confidential, and if you’d like to add comments, there is a place to do that confidentially as well.  Thank you!

http://www.misterpoll.com/2702569308.html