The squidlet is the size of a sesame seed.  That sesame seed has me exhausted, not into making or eating dinner at all, and giving my the hot flashes. Damn.

I just did some math, and knowing that I have 35 weeks to go, I wanted to know what was happening 35 weeks ago.  Funny enough, I was smashing my finger between the boat and the dock on our way to Crumple.  Even better, the 1st tri would have ended the day the fingernail came off.  So, I just have to get through that worrying time.

It’s quite appropriate, actually.  I babied that fingernail, bandaged it every day, worried every minute that it was just going to disappear and it would hurt and OH NO.  But no, it fell off after a trimester’s worth of weeks. Cool.

So far, tired, boob soreness, food weirdness, and headache and hot flashes. Sounds about right, right? I need toast.

The whole purpose of the "Saturday, in the park" title was to talk about my walk around the nighborhood, and how I stopped to swing at Fairmount again, and how I watched kids on bikes, on the climbers, on the swings across the field,  playing catch in the field, and how as I pumped my legs, I kept chanting the mantra of "Stick stick stick, grow grow grow, thrive thrive thrive."  But, Not only did I forget to write about that, I forgot to hit SAVE, too. GAH.

ANYWAY.

We told my folks.  We drove 2 hours to the mountain, it was a beautiful spring day, and when we got there I gave them their presents.  It was kind of anticlimactic, my mom didn’t even cry.  She admitted, though, that "it hadn’t hit her yet."  My mom cries at commercials, so it’s safe to say that no, it hadn’t hit her yet.  She did offer me a beer, though, and I kind of looked at her, and my dad said "And how about a pack of smokes?" So yeah. It hadn’t hit her.

My dad (it was his birthday) said "oh, COOL!" and then asked how long we’d been trying.  THEN he asked "Did you have to do anything special?" which was one of the most cringeworthy moments ever, I mean, the internet can know about the fine details, but I couldnt tell my DAD "Why, YES, we used special internet lube and I rolled over after Dave jizzed in me. . . ." ahem.

My grandma called while I was there to wish my dad a happy birthday, and I told her: "Hi Grandma . .  how does Great Grandma sound?" and she was more vocally excited than my mom was.  My aunt called, and mom told her, and then the people they were meeting for dinner called and THEY found out, so, yeah, I’m Out.  I’m not here, but those people aren’t connected to my life in any big way (Uh, not the family, but the dinner friends) so whatever.  Mom called her best friend (it was the FIRST person she wanted to tell, because she has four grandkids already) and she was excited — probably more for mom than me, which is okay, Alesa is mom’s Amy, and I told mom about telling Amy before anyone else.

We hung out for a bit, and then headed home.

I’m still nervous, but that’s normal, right?  I mean, 90 percent work out, I have to remember that.  PBS had a show about Yankee inventions, and one was a vaginal doppler, and Dave and I started joking about taking the housing of a vibrator, running a studio wireless mic through it, and hooking it up to the amp, just to see if we could pick up anything. We? ARE GEEKS.

I did find some good info from my mom.  She never threw up (whoo!) but did get tired a lot.  She didn’t have GD with me, and apparently was only borderline with Kate, but they made her do insulin shots anyway, to keep the birthweight low.  (I was 9-4, and even with the insulin, Kate was 9-15.  AND? My mom smoked through both pregnancies. It was the 70s, they didn’t know better yet.  Of course, it’s that story that made Amy hesitate before buying the newborn pack of diapers because "Oh, they only go up to 10 pounds and your mom had BIIIG babies. . . " ACK!)

So, yeah.  I’m still paranoid that I’m going to go to the bathroom and find blood . . . but it hasn’t happened yet.  I haven’t been too queasy, however, I’m taking BComplex, which apparently helps with nausea, and I have noticed that if I take it at night, I wake up okay but am bleh in the evenings, and if I take it during the day, I’m weirder when I wake up, so I’m thinking that might help.  As it is, I took it yesterday around lunch, and am waiting til I go to bed to take it tonight, to see if it affects things.  My tits wake up feeling . .  okay, but by 5 or so, they are burning up.  By the time I go to bed and unleash them from my bra, they are really sore, and super veiny.  I’m only 5 weeks tomorrow, so I imagine things will increase over the next few weeks, right?

Mamas, when did you stop worrying?  When did the symptoms start to pile up?  When did you feel SAFE?

Yes, I have a ticker.  I’m way too cynical for these things, usually, and it took a while to find one that was suitable for me, but the bright colored bars and lack of mention of God makes me happy.  I considered some other options, however, which you can see behind the cut:

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Yep. Still pregnant.  I used up the second HPT this morning, and it was dark as anything, which was reassuring.

Last night, I told Dave that I really wanted a broccoli and spinach calzone, but that I didn’t think it had anything to do with me being pregnant.

"Right.  For FOUR YEARS anytime we call a pizza place we get half mushroom, half green pepper, and ALL OF A SUDDEN you want something totally different.  You are so pregnant."

Whatever. It was delicious.

We’ll go to the mountain today to tell my folks.  I just talked to my mom, who was amazingly not suspicious of our last minute plan to "give you your birthday presents" and "take advantage of the beautiful day." Hee.  She wants us to stay the night, which we probably won’t do, and they have dinner plans for 6 with some of their friends, so we have to get there sooner rather than later.  Dave’s putting on the summer wheels, and then we’ll take a shower, and then we’ll head out.  God, I hope they’re both there when we arrive, because I just want to give them their presents and have it be over, because I will explode if I have to sit there and wait for Dad to get off the slopes or something. ARGH!

We aren’t telling the inlaws for a while, which I admitted to Dave is a total double standard of mine.  He understands, though, that if it doesn’t work out, I would need the support of my mom, and not of his.  We also talk and or see my folks much more frequently than we see any of his family (despite, you know, the fact that they all live within a five mile radius of us, and my folks are 100 miles away at any given time).  I think we’ll tell them after the ultrasound, which is on 5/6, two days before Mother’s Day.  It might make a good gift for the MIL.

So, yes. Still quite pregnant, which is a totally good thing. 

Skipping school was absolutely the best idea, ever.  The day was gloriously beautiful, I wore my shades the whole time, and driving was a good way to THINK about the whole thing. 

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Skipping school was absolutely the best idea, ever.  The day was gloriously beautiful, I wore my shades the whole time, and driving was a good way to THINK about the whole thing. 

Continue reading →